qian

what the fuck, xiaxue?

2011-05-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

xiaxue made me revive my blog which has been dead for a year. she didn't inspire me to blog. she infuriated me enough to create a blog entry to specifically target her.

she probably won't read this, but i'd like to give my two cents' worth anyway.

let's talk about her post on LKY's facebook page. if you don't know what's going on, read it here:https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150174720218533

you're judging the population's level of respect for LKY just from some numbers? you don't judge people from the number of friends they have on facebook. how is the number of likes on LKY's facebook page related to the level of respect singaporeans have for him?

so what if there're more likes on nicole seah's facebook page as compared to LKY's? it probably means that she's popular among the younger generation. please remember that many of our parents and grandparents are not facebook users. it doesn't mean that they don't respect LKY.

i'm not defending nicole seah and you don't have to speculate which side i'm on. i support the opposition, but i know that the parliament needs to have PAP around to function too. i have great admiration towards nicole seah, but it doesn't mean that i don't hold any respect towards LKY.

similarly, those who do not vote for PAP are not being ungrateful. let's face it, the GE is a policy contest. voters will pick whichever party which proposes policies which appeal to them. respect (or the lack thereof) isn't relevant.

stop accusing singaporeans of being thankless and disrespectful. people don't have to like LKY's facebook page to show respect for him. judging people's attitude towards singapore's founding father through some facebook statistics won't put you in a good light either. RESPECT COMES FROM THE HEART, NOT FROM SOME NUMBERS.

xiaxue, please go and reflect before posting such cringe-worthy content.

http://klavier-hoboe.blogspot.com/2011/05/what-fuck-xiaxue.html

admit it, we do need foreign talent.

2010-06-02T07:16:00.000-07:00

after seeing yesterday's headlines in the new paper about our foreign table tennis stars bringing the championship to s'pore, only to get slammed by netizens the moment they returned to our sunny island, it gave me a huge incentive to start blogging again.

here's what i've fished out from stomp (i trawled the internet for this!):

What is there for Singaporeans to be proud of when the so-called Singapore women's team, which beat China to clinch the World Table Tennis Championship yesterday, is comprised solely of China-born players, questions STOMPersportscynic.
The Singapore women's team's performance was touted as being 'stunning' and 'historic' by local media after they defeated reigning champions and world No.1 China, 3-1, in the World Team Table Tennis Championships in Moscow yesterday. However, STOMPer sportscynic says the victory is not truly ours. She says: "The Singapore women's team, comprising of Feng Tianwei and her team mates Wang Yuegu, Yu Mengyu, Li Jiawei and Sun Beibei, including their coach Zhou Shusen, are all imported from China.
"They are all China born and bred. There's not a token local born and bred in the team. "It was therefore a case of China's B-team beating China's A-team to be world champions. "Can any Singaporean feel proud of an all Chinese victory? "It's still the Chinese winning in the end anyway."

you can read it on-site here: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/384916/china_beat_china_to_clinch_world_table_tennis_championship.html#commentSection

this was reported in the new paper too, and those who spoke up for the table tennis team argued that many of our foreign athletes had made concerted efforts to assimilate, so why treat them differently? before i talk about that, i have a huge urge to slam this ludicrous statement first:

"can any singaporean feel proud of an all chinese victory? it's still the chinese winning in the end anyway."

it isn't a matter of whether singaporeans can feel proud of a victory that was made possible by a team of foreigners. singaporeans should feel obliged to be proud of it. let's face the truth, it's tough for a local to win anything, much less give our foreign athletes a run for their money. where can we find another ang peng siong? besides, we waited decades to claim our second olympic medal (again, it was a team of foreign athletes who brought it home). this says a lot about homegrown talents, or rather the lack of it.

singaporeans, you have to admit that our culture doesn't allow much space for developing non-academic potential too. it's an unsaid fact that many parents think that anything that does not develop our cognitive abilities should be done recreationally. (a similar statement was mentioned in the 2010 pre-university seminar) when the promising young athlete is swept off his nimble feet in homework, tuition, remedial and school, where can he find time to hone his talent? this is probably why we're facing a severe shortage of homegrown talents but an overload of job hunting university graduates. maybe singapore might see some hope when students from singapore sports school graduate, but that probably won't be soon.

back to the earlier point. i don't think that our foreign athletes' efforts to assimilate matter anyway. so what if tao li masters singlish and feng tianwei belts out majulah singapura with gusto? most of us don't even make an effort to mouth the national anthem lyrics during morning assembly, would anyone actually bother if a foreigner can sing it?

this isn't the end. li jiawei has signed on with the beijing team for the moscow world championships, and another commotion erupts. what's with all those accusations of ingratitude and disloyalty? as quoted from stomp:

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/in_the_heartlands/385390/foreign_talent_li_jiawei_abandons_spore_to_join_chinas.html#commentSection

"government pay her millions and moral support (sic) and yet she is ungrateful."

"it's time the gov do something. made them sign contract, once they break contract, returned all the money award they received!!!" (sic)

it's ironic that singaporeans refuse to acknowledge the effort our foreign athletes put in to bring glory to singapore, and then accuse them of being ungrateful when they leave for greener pastures. who are the ungrateful ones now? besides, since locals won't appreciate them, why make them stay using contracts?

since the whole issue's about having some talent to call our own, i'll give a fine example of a homegrown star:

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/375273/1/.html

2008 summer paralympics bronze medallist, equestrian laurentia tan. she's singaporean through and through, but dig a little deeper through that memory card in your brain. there definitely wasn't so much hype over her win than the commotion over the "all-chinese victory". what do you singaporeans (stompers in particular) really want?

it's high time to stop complaining and start reflecting.

in case you're speculating on my nationality, i'm singaporean.

becoming a fan isn't the same as liking!

2010-04-21T05:49:00.001-07:00

i had been rather intent on abandoning my blog for good but this gave me inspiration to start writing again.

facebook did some minor rephrasing in the news feed. since i'm such an avid facebook stalker (voyeurism isn't a crime), i noticed it immediately of course. haha.

"___ is now a fan of ___" has turned into "___ likes ___", in case you haven't noticed.

it sounds correct on the first look, but what if it's for a page like this:

to the creators of this page, please pardon me for using this as an example.

to satiate your curiosity, you can see the page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Teenager-committed-SUICIDE-because-of-THIS-status-update-Leaked-from-2008/114138315276253?v=app_4949752878&ref=nf

back to the point. this screen grab was taken straight off my news feed. it sounds as if you like the fact that a teenager committed suicide! i find it... disturbing. fine, it probably won't change anyone's objective in joining that particular page, but still, it doesn't sound right.

after typing all this, i realised that this post is pretty pointless. LOL. but in any case, give me back the "become fan" button any day, and i hope it isn't too greedy of me to ask for a "dislike" button in its place. hey facebook, you heard that?

like it or not, grades are everything.

2010-03-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

i seem to be posting loads of results-related stuff on blogger and facebook recently. hope this will be the last.

i cannot understand why people like saying "it's ok, grades aren't everything" when they try to comfort someone who has buang-ed an exam. then again, maybe it's just that there really isn't anything else to say. -.-

if grades aren't everything, people wouldn't go around comparing their results.

if grades aren't everything, getting good results wouldn't be a legitimate reason for celebration.

if grades aren't everything, people wouldn't be in tears over less than satisfactory results.

if grades aren't everything, parents would never threaten, tempt or mollycoddle their kids into producing a pleasant-looking report slip.

face it, grades ARE everything. i'm pretty sure the above are not baseless claims. anyone studying in singapore would probably have experienced at least one of the above statements before.

on a sidenote, hopefully WKWSCI will at least interview me. give me chance to prove that my abysmal knowledge of econs won't affect my writing ability, please?

credits:
http://ohtoast.deviantart.com/art/The-Exam-Hall-55952989
http://northernsun.deviantart.com/art/Celebration-91833030
http://devil4u.deviantart.com/art/Tears-49217978
http://dragonteethe.deviantart.com/art/Edward-Elric-exhausted-by-cane-92005705

FOR ALL YOUR VOYEURISTIC SOULS.

2010-03-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

this facebook status has proved useless because i'm still being bombarded by questions about my grades, via sms, phone, windows live and every form of communication imaginable.

if i've told you my results without much probing, it either means you're my good friend or i simply cannot be bothered to brush off the questions anymore.

it's pointless trying to evade questions regarding my results, because voyeurism is part of human nature after all. if you still don't get my drift, let me tell you now. I'M GETTING PEEVED BY THE NUMBER OF NOSEY PARKERS WHO CAN'T WAIT TO KNOW HOW WELL (OR HOW BADLY) I DID.

after collecting my results today, it hit me that there's really nothing embarrassing about screwing up a national exam. SO, FOR ALL YOU KPO PEOPLE OUT THERE, HERE'S MY RESULTS, STRAIGHT IN YOUR FACE.

physics - B
chem - B
math - C
econs - U
GP - B
chinese - B
PW - A

chinese and PW has been included so that i don't have to keep repeating. and don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to "hao lian" my grades or what. seriously, there's nothing to be proud of for failing an A level subject.

yes, i've scored a U for econs. and i don't need your shock or sympathy. i understand your kind intentions, but it's not necessary. save your efforts in laughing at me too, because if you judge a person by a piece of paper, you're proving yourself to be superficial.

feast your eyes on my grades if you want, but for the very last time, stop spamming me with questions and please don't leave messages of sympathy on my tagboard. thank you.

facing cny lackadaisically

2010-02-13T00:15:00.000-08:00

reasons why i cannot be bothered to go the extra mile to prepare for CNY this year:

1. you don't need to wait till CNY to start cleaning up your place.
2. no one said you couldn't buy new clothes if it isn't CNY.
3. after facing a slew of ugly customers for the entire day, you just want to laze at home.
4. it clashes with v day. 'nuff said.
5. we're not having the usual steamboat tonight. not that i mind either. when you've been eating out for lunch and dinner almost every day, home cooked food for reunion dinner is good enough.
6. i face CNY festivities all the time at work. maybe i'm just immune to the goodies already. (anyway, they're fattening. haha.)
7. just the thought of staying home for this super long weekend already makes me happy.
8. i'm too busy hoping that i can get that job. roar~ i really wanna work there can!

i think i've aged. haha.
----
sidetrack 1: i think many people cannot recognise me now because i have coloured hair. =x
----
sidetrack 2: i met a really nice customer on thursday! he was friendly and even helped to clear his own table when he saw that we were busy. this is so rare lah, in many cases the customers would be complaining already. if only there were more people like him!

imu.

siloso beach sexcapade (a different perspective)

2010-01-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

the title of this post has probably grabbed everyone's attention.

yup, i'm referring to the harrassment incident at siloso beach's countdown party. since it's probably the hottest debate topic online now, i feel inspired to give my two cents' worth too. AIYA, IN OTHER WORDS, I AM JUST TOO PISSED BY THIS TO STAY QUIET.

i guess this case needs no introduction because it's just too famous.

even facebook got involved in the fiasco.

there's another facebook group named "she deserved to be molested at siloso beach" but it has since been taken down.

i'm not here to slam the 4 perverts, and i'm not here to accuse the woman of triggering the incident because she was dressed provocatively.

seriously, the people who deserve to be jailed/beaten up/raped/(whatever punishment they bestowed on the stars of the sexcapade) are the netizens. here's why.

facebook users, rest assured that i have painstakingly covered your names and profile pictures so that you people can maintain anonymity. on a personal level, these people should be publicly shamed.

these comments have been grabbed from the facebook group "she did not deserve to be molested at siloso beach".

the comments i posted here are just the tip of the iceberg.

singapore prides itself as a cosmopolitan city. and we do all those racial harmony stuff in school and this is the result of 10 (in fact most of us have more) years of national education. SO MUCH FOR WORLD CLASS SINGAPOREAN EDUCATION.

the issue goes all the way back to racial stereotyping again. why is everyone so bloody sure that the 4 guys are bangladeshis?

it's true that no one would condone the actions of the guys, but why target their race/nationalities in the heated debate? for all you know, they may not be bangladeshi or indian after all. but does it make any difference? they outraged a person's modesty and it has absolutely nothing to do with race. it makes me wonder if people are genuinely concerned with the issue or they are just finding an excuse to insult a particular race.

all students in singapore would have learnt about the horrors of cultural genocide in history or GP lessons. and then we would be told to count our blessings that we are living in a racially harmonious country. take off your rose-tinted glasses and look carefully lah. singaporeans are very much racist ok.

the next thing which got my goat: all the heated discussion on the "victim's" gender.

rumours are rife that the woman is a transsexual. SO?

i think the guy who posted this is from dunman because his most of his mutual friends are my secondary school friends. what a disgrace to my alma mater. zzz.

what's with all those sweeping statements involving transsexuals? it's true that the stigma attached to transsexuals hasn't gone away even in our open minded society, but what's with victimising the entire transsexual community?

remember there was a guy who was arrested in austria for confining his daughter to a cellar for 20 years and fathering her children? that guy's comments are almost along the lines of saying something like "why bother about guys? they just want to fuck their daughters."

so, is it still fair to claim that all transsexuals just want to hook up guys? if i were a transsexual i wouldn't have touched that guy with a ten foot pole. so what if he's a guy, not worth grinding/humping lah. zzz.

hello singaporeans, please wake up your ideas and watch your words. we still have a really long way in working towards a gracious society.

mixed feelings

2009-12-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

it's really baffling how just one thing can screw up your mood for the whole day/night.

i read it.
it's been so long, but i still ended up in tears after seeing everything.
so much for thinking that i've been doing fine.
why is it just so difficult to give up?
i agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.
but then again, it doesn't matter to you anymore, does it?
i doubt that you would even read this anyway.

my mind's a complete mess now. fine, i'll just think about work and nothing else for tomorrow.

random thoughts

2009-11-20T07:15:00.000-08:00

it's 3 more papers to the end of A's. yeah, like finally right. zzz.

not in a mood to blog about life, just some random thoughts here.

there's a negative connotation associated with hypocrisy. i don't think anyone in the right mind would want to befriend someone who is known to be hypocritical. but think of this scenario:

a friend bitches to you that he/she got backstabbed but still hangs out with the backstabber. you think that your friend is being a hypocrite and bitch about it to someone else. but you still hang out with that friend.

(such things do happen often, sadly.)

isn't that hypocrism too? by complaining to someone else, you're also backstabbing your friend. what an irony right. people bitch about the misdeeds of others, only to commit the same sins themselves.

i'm not saying that i'm not guilty of this.

everyone belittles hypocrisy but it still exists. life's ugly right. damn ugly.

i never really believed in karma till now.
but i guess it does exist.
now you probably know how i feel.
hankering after something you can't have, and not being able to let go.
talk about what goes around comes around.
oh well.

for the sake of clearing accumulated dust...

2009-10-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

...this post is gonna be short and random.

i swear i'll never do math papers while watching tv again. i was working on the modified 2005 a level paper and after adding up the marks...

I LOST 18 MARKS TO CARELESSNESS.

epic failure. plot graph on GC can also type the wrong equation!

kwa kwa kwa...
----
just started playing cafe world on facebook and i realised the waiter behaves rather bimbotically. like, he walks one whole circle around the restaurant before figuring out who to serve. i don't know if it's just the game or if it's because i hired my own brother as the waiter. HAHAHA.

screw it, there's econs paper tomorrow and i've yet to find a satisfactory answer to the definition of average propensity to consume. i was peeing when mr hon was going through that question! please don't tell me it's like "marginal propensity to consume, just that it's average", it doesn't explain anything can!

off to do stats now. bye.

you can't always see the pain others feel.

message to ris "boomz" low

2009-10-04T03:34:00.000-07:00

disclaimer: this is purely for entertainment purposes only.

dear ms low,

you have certainly generated much boomz in singapore recently. i applaud and thank you for that because you actually managed to steal some of the limelight that was trained on the very overrated nuptials of a particular local celebrity. also, thank you for making our local news less monotonous with more scandals from you.

so, i hear that you've been accusing first runner up ms claire lee of leaking the ugly details of your past to the media and you've gone to the media to take revenge. please look beyond the loud zipbra preens, girl. you've been dogged by so much controversy. after declaring different versions of how the media and pageant organisers got wind of your fraud conviction, how do you expect the public to believe what you say?

if you love attention so so much, maybe strutting down orchard road in a piece of bigini and jeans would do a better job in achieving your objective. you're making a spectacle of yourself in both ways, but at least it doesn't drag fellow pageant participants into the situation.

fall from grace graciously please. but thank you again for creating all that boomz. i had a great time reading about you in the papers.

yours sincerely,
a disgruntled member of the public

here we go again

2009-09-20T11:24:00.000-07:00

I throw all of your stuff away
I’m gonna clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you
But it’s just another pretty lie
'Cause I break down
Every time you come around
Oh Oh Oh Oh

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you'd think that by now
I'd know cause here we go go go again
You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Every time that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye
But it's no use
Can't be with or without you
Oh Oh Oh Oh

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you’d think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go go again
And again, and again, and again, and again, and again

I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you'd think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go here we go again
Here we go again
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Again (and again, and again)
Again (and again, and again)

why.

for iphone users on a tight budget (literally)

2009-09-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

i should be studying now but bro just showed me something totally awesome...

beat the global credit crunch by investing in wallet-friendly cardboard iphone cases!

you can get it at US$0.99 each or there's a better alternative: get the "bailout bundle" at US$7.99 for 10 cases!

besides, personalising your iphone case has been made really easy. you just need a pen!

who needs silicone or acrylic cases when cardboard is more economical. plus it's biodegradable. =)

cool right!

you can see more details here: http://www.case-mate.com/iPhone-3G-Cases/Case-Mate-iPhone-3G--3GS-recession-case.asp

prelims =(

2009-09-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

ok, prelims so far has been =( and =/ (i don't know how to articulate it lah LOL). GP paper 1 was both. i went on a tree-killing spree by using up 5 out of 6 sheets of paper to re-do the essay 4 times leh! and it's supposedly my strongest subject. =( it's not A levels, but that kind of feeling isn't good.

watched i love you, beth cooper just now with 2 whiny ~~girls~~ (i shouldn't be so mean HAHAHA) but slept through most of the later half of the movie. sheesh, maybe hitting the sack at 2.30am wasn't such a great idea after all. anyway, it's damn hilarious, but also kind of morbid? let's just say that there was a scene where the guy was having a nosebleed and he stuffed a tampon up each nostril. you get the idea.

actually i don't have much to update on this already-very-lifeless blog. zzz. looks like i should start drowning in stats and physics for now. but before that, here's the class photos...

PS: i didn't scan the originals so i'm posting the samples instead.

LOL my leg muscles can be seen in the collage. =x it was really sunny that day, which explains why almost everyone's squinting. haha.

i don't know why, but it still hurts to see all that.
there're many things which i wish to say, and things which i should've said long ago but didn't.
it's too late now because we've drifted so far apart that i don't even know if i should acknowledge your presence when i see you, but i guess it doesn't matter now since you don't seem to notice anyway.

looks like i can only use this line to describe everything...

"it's like chasing the very last train when it's too late"
-broken strings (james morrison ft. nelly furtado)

when "bimbotic" takes on a whole new meaning

2009-07-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

damn, yours truly had a truly bimbotic day. (repetition of "truly" was intended) here goes...

i caused my wrist to bend backwards in a way which it wasn't supposed to while playing tennis during PE. when i thought all was fine, i tried to pull off some stunt on the piano and made it worse. zzz. 'nuff said.

i missed bus 39 (it's the only direct bus home from school), so i hopped onto 53 instead with mansfield and jeremy with the intention to change buses somewhere along the journey. when jeremy alighted at pasir ris central, he asked if i wanted to change buses at that bus stop. act smart me decided to get off at loyang avenue instead and didn't alight there.

when the bus reached loyang avenue, it suddenly hit me that i was supposed to alight ONLY WHEN IT WAS LEAVING THE BUS STOP. i forgot that i wasn't on bus 39! and very unluckily, the next stop's a plane ride away, at the airport. (pun intended) -.- ok, i couldn't do anything so i just sat there and waited for the bus to clear the security checks at the airport entrance and yada yada... and hopped off immediately when the bus reached terminal 3.

very unluckily again, just when 53 was pulling into the bus bay at terminal 3, bus 34 (the only bus home from the airport) left. i ended up waiting 20 minutes for the next one. don't ask why i didn't take the MRT instead, the route is twice as long as the bus route!

YES AH I FEEL SO SMART! -.-

i think i just revolutionised the meaning of "bimbotic". zzz.
----
side note: i feel like playing tennis again.

chicken in paper, paper in chicken

2009-07-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

happened to stumble on this while surfing youtube.

the last video on "ji bao zhi" is a must watch! the subtitles of the first video got kind of lost in translation so i think it's only funny if you understand cantonese.

touch screen phones

2009-07-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

i've imported my blog onto facebook! =)

it's my second consecutive techie post. heheh. i'm just bored stiff from tutorials lah, which explains why i'm here to update.

try looking through the interfaces of touch screen phones, and you'll realise that some of the phones have uncanny resemblances to one another.

LG ARENA'S MAIN MENU vs IPHONE'S MAIN MENU

credits: http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/lg-arena-tmob.jpg
http://www.mercurious.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/flash-on-iphone.png

the calendar and notes icons are damn alike! in fact, i think the silver border on the casing looks somewhat similar too. HAHA.

LG COOKIE'S CLOCKS vs SAMSUNG F480'S CLOCKS

credits: http://socypath.winwab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/lg-cookie.jpg
http://www.mobil.se/ArticlePages/200802/13/20080213011956_MOB224/widgets_s.jpg

i'm referring to the analogue and dual timezone clocks. coincidentally both phones have the same "drag and drop" functions on the main menu.

IPHONE'S ALBUM ART NAVIGATOR vs LG ARENA'S IMAGE NAVIGATOR

credits: http://www.navigadget.com/wp-content/postimages/2009/02/lg-arena.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/417901658_abc13798ac.jpg?v=0

this is by far the most similar aspect i've seen.

LG ARENA'S "CUBE" vs HTC TOUCH'S "CUBE"

credits: http://www.missphones.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/samsung-jet-2.jpg
http://connectwirelessweb.com/images/3D-touch-cube-interface.jpg

it's hard to tell phones apart now. LOL.

of movies, missing school and zhng your phone

2009-07-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

just marathoned 2 ~~movies~~ bloodbaths - both instalments of battle royale. wonder how many litres of red paint the producers used while filming. hahaha. i watched battle royale 1 over lunch ok! come think of it, it's damn morbid to watch some guy's decapitated head with a grenade stuffed in the mouth hurtling through the air while TRYING TO tuck into noodles. heh, but i survived!

and just the day before, i was trying to understand angels and demons (because the subtitles are in traditional chinese and the dialogue in french/italian has no subtitles. -.-). more violence! (though not as bloody as battle royale) sheesh, hope i won't develop violent tendencies after this. LOL.

missed school and bowling yesterday because i was sick. zzz. i didn't have fever, but my voice was gone and my nose was leaking like crazy. if i had gone to school in that state i probably wouldn't have made it past the visual screening thing at the gate. zzz. anyway, it seems like it's practically illegal to cough/sneeze in public now. people will stare like you've just committed a heinous crime. 0.o

apparently GP results have been released. hope i can score for paper 1 so that it can salvage my tragically screwed paper 2 AQ. *crosses fingers*

oh, and here's the grossly overdue zhng your phone post! coincidentally, iphone was just released hours ago.

this is a HTC touch 3G. note the original windows mobile interface!

pic credits: http://i1.lelong.com.my/UserImages/Items/0902/04/rmtlee@12.jpg

with software bro found online and some tweaking...

you get the pseudo-iphone!

i think the pictures are self explanatory.

this is the real deal:

pic credits: http://www.mercurious.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/flash-on-iphone.png

looks like an iphone right! this is probably the coolest techie stuff i've seen this year.

PS: the HTC touch 3G is not my phone. and blogger screwed up the formatting. zzz.

the world's mourning MJ... oh really?

2009-06-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

contrary to what the title might imply, the focus of this isn't actually on MJ's passing itself. it's the irony connected to it.

just a word of caution: DON'T READ ON IF YOU'RE A LOYAL FAN OF MICHAEL JACKSON.

and just some things to clarify:

firstly, i'm not a fan of MJ, but i'm not completely against him either. secondly, this is my opinion. as the saying goes, to each his own, so i've absolutely no intention of starting a war by posting this.

http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/original/Michael_jackson_bad_cd_cover_1987_cdda.jpg

michael jackson: 1958-2009

let's skip the details on michael jackson's passing because we all know it already.

sure, the news of michael jackson's death was indeed a shock. who would have expected him to die so suddenly? i'm highly unimpressed by the fanfare surrounding his death though.

i'm not saying that the tributes aren't enough. in fact, i think the news of his death is so hyped up, it's almost hypocritical.

MJ was hailed as the king of pop in his heyday. and probably no one could pull off as slick a moonwalk as him. but did the world remember all that when he fell from grace?

"Jackson insisted that his increasingly pale complexion was down to a rare skin condition known as vitiligo and lupus; his detractors speculated he had undergone skin-bleaching."

"In 1994 he married Lisa Marie Presley - daughter of Elvis Presley - after a whirlwind romance that sceptics claimed was a publication relations stunt."

you can read the full article here: http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=5&ContentID=150984

these issues aside, much of his life became tabloid fodder when he was slapped with paedophilia charges. his idiosyncratic antics, such as dangling his child over a balcony railing also came under intense public condemnation.

WHERE WAS THE SUPPORT FOR HIM THEN?

now that he's passed on, people are hailing him as the king of pop all over again, paying tearful tributes for his music.

talk about world hypocrism at its best.

anyway, i haven't paid any tribute to MJ yet, and i probably don't intend to.

2009-06-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

it's only 9pm and i'm sleepy! RAWR~ so much for sharing a latte with bro at the cafe just now. looks like caffeine isn't a good substitute for a lack of sleep now. (heh, econs!)

finally made a trip down to mum's 2 month old bakery-cafe at bukit merah central (it's a plane ride away from home, seriously). i like the starbucks/bistro delifrance-esque feeling there. haha. the environment's so comfy, it's a good place to sleep. plus, the radio was playing songs from symphonic 9.24fm at a volume that's just good enough as a lullaby. =x orchestral pieces can only perk you up if you blast your speakers!

became the odd job labourer during lunch rush hour - pouring cold drinks, clearing plates, washing coffee cups... and got really intrigued by the coffee maker. i don't mind working as a barista there after A levels! bro mistakenly brewed a double-shot expresso for a customer and decided to turn it into a latte by spamming milk. kao, even with all that milk, the coffee still tasted lethal. but seems like the caffeine overdose didn't cure my sleepiness. =x

anyway, my 3 hour stint there enabled me to observe some behavioural quirks:

1. passers-by love to gawk at the photos of the dishes stuck on the glass door at the entrance. it's pasta, sandwiches, rosti and hotdogs only lah, so fascinating meh? I SWEAR MAN, ONE DAY SOMEONE MIGHT JUST RIP OFF THE PHOTOS AND STUFF THEM INTO HIS/HER MOUTH.

2. this is relevant to the above point. potential customers will stare at the pictures and start debating with their friends/colleagues on whether they should have lunch there. and i can tell from their body language that the discussion gets so intense (they're out of earshot), it's almost as if they're deciding on their life partners. -.-

3. some of the customers practically empty the mustard/ketchup bottle (condiments are self-serviced) onto their plates, only to leave it untouched later. 0.o

in any case, i don't mind bunking at the flat above the cafe next year. saves travelling time to uni (it's near NUS, NTU and SMU) and i don't need to stay at hostels. provided if i can get a place at any of those 3 varsities, i hope. haha.
----
my laptop nearly drove me to the grave yesterday when 3 programmes (itunes, IE and windows explorer) i was running suddenly stopped functioning. don't jump at my throat for overloading my com, i was running them on separate occasions. zzz. and i got a first hand experience of HD image quality when the wallpaper was suddenly replaced by a blank screen. yah, HD in black mah. =x

conclusion: my laptop is a bimbotic machine that can't handle one job at a time, much less multitask. sheesh.

2009-06-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

i wonder what you're thinking.
I SERIOUSLY WONDER.
what happened to "blood is thicker than water"?
it's evident that you're only concerned with your own interests.
i've lost every single bit of respect for you.

one parent complaining like there's no tomorrow, and another who absolutely refuses to do anything.
sure, there're no outbursts as of yet.
but with all that backstabbing, griping, complaining and *insert word here*, it's just as bad.
and it sucks that i'm can't do a single shit about it.
FUCK LAH.
i know this is a shamelessly stupid excuse, but i seriously can't study at all.
someone please redefine "family", thank you.

i don't want to get 4Us for MYE because of this.

PS: will do the "zhng your phone" post another day.

2009-06-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

i'm currently here to update this place which has been so alive and clean. yeah right.

life's been busy. mugging, colosseum (fine, we got owned flat for BOTH bomber esfera and queimada during intra-house games LOL), and... facebooking. haha. heh, i'd rather facebook than blog when i'm online now.

anyway, while mr brown has zhng your car, bro has ZHNG YOUR PHONE! if you're a facebook user and if you've seen the photos on my profile, you would know what i'm talking about. i'm kinda lazy to upload all the pics today so i'll blog about this another day.

argghh back to mugging. zzz.

i wish i had taken the effort to understand you then.

2009-05-09T23:33:00.001-07:00

ok, i decided to change my blogskin even though it's quite dead. and i'm using a template i got from blogskins.com instead of my own. haha, i can't/am too lazy to create anything after losing photoshop when the com crashed last year.

anyway, i've got contact lenses now! it took me less than half an hour at the shop to learn how to wear and take them off. i'm a fast learner! =)) but i was having a lot of trouble at home though. on thursday i wore the lens the wrong way round on my right eye! and yesterday my left eye kept rejecting the lenses. yeah, it dropped out of my eye the moment i blinked. zzz.

hahaha looks like i'm still quite noob at wearing contacts.

I SHOULD BE MUGGING FOR TUESDAY'S MATH TEST NOW.

bye.

[edit]

click to enlarge.

couldn't resist posting this here! i nearly fell over laughing when i saw the result. =x

2009-05-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

currently in a i-don't-know-what-i'm-feeling mood.
arrrghhhh...

kinda wasted my weekend reading yakuza moon. an interesting read, albeit all that drugs, sex and violence. am damn guilty now because i only did chem tutorial over the past 3 days. zzz.

[edit]
I GOT OWNED AT THE HAIRDRESSER'S.

i had gone to try some $3.80 haircut at a new salon near my house, and you really pay for what you get. my hair grew back in less than a month. -.- so, it was back to the usual hairdresser.

here's what she said:

"you paid $3.80 and the guy only cut a bit of your hair hor. you should keep all of your hair that's been cut off here and compare with the amount of hair on that salon's floor. then you'll see the difference between a $3.80 haircut and $6 haircut."

(yeah, my haircut's that cheap because she's a friend of my mum.)

LOL WTH.

when she was done, my jaw literally dropped when i saw how much of my own hair was on the floor. it's nearly twice the amount, seriously. KENA OWNED PLEASE.

but it feels shiok lah, i like it.

arggghhh but my fringe sucks.

act smart me told the hairdresser to trim off a bit more of my fringe... and she proceeded to cut bangs. omg wth i never liked bangs even when i was a kid. (i used to have the japanese doll hairstyle in primary school LOLOL) it looks damn silly on me. zzz.

i want my fringe to grow back quickly. rawr.

2009-04-29T01:48:00.000-07:00

WAHHHHHHHHH I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

CIP project's over. i specially went back to school after A div yesterday to collect the endorsement letter during the debrief. it turned out that they were still processing the letter! if i had known i wouldn't have gone back to school at all! because going back meant having to take the physics test and there was one whole period to slack off as GP lesson was cancelled.

anyway, vincent and i were given 23 CIP hours for the project, 5 hours more than the rest. but i'm damn sure all that backstage work took more than 5 hours. -.-

on something totally unrelated, we got back the physics test today. I FRIGGING LOST 8 MARKS OUT OF SHEER STUPIDITY. here's how i managed to screw up the paper:

correct answer: faraday's law states that induced emf is proportional to the rate of change of magnetic flux linkage.

my answer: faraday's law states that the rate of change of magnetic flux linkage is proportional to the induced emf in a current carrying conductor.

that cost me 2 marks.

correct answer: resistance of a thermistor decreases as temperature increases.

my answer: resistance increases as temperature increases.

that was another 2 marks gone.

and there was another question where we were supposed to calculate the pd across a diode in a transformer. my first step was correct but i cancelled it. 4 marks down the drain.

WTH SIA I COULD'VE PASSED THE DAMN TEST.

seriously, what i wrote sounds so stupid, it's bordering on hilarious. -.-

2009-04-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

刚才看到你，不知道为什么有一种很怪的感觉。
到了这个地步，已经没什么好挽回了。
自己已经麻木了，也没抱着什么希望。

not posting the rest because it's too sensitive.

2009-04-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

i'm posting here to show that i'm still alive. =)

anyway, i was pretty shocked to see that my tagboard had turned into some advert ground for... vibrators. -.- the only gadget which i own and can vibrate is my handphone and i don't think there's a need to add on to the collection.

and to that random person, if you have the guts to call me a sucker, you should have the guts to use your own name too. zzz.

replies to tags:

calvin: yup, i'll keep that in mind.
kenji: LOL i bet you're famous now because of that post! thank me k!

2009-04-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

everything's so pointless now.
maybe i should just fk care about it.
i know where i stand.
i'm that dispensable after all.
----
[edit]
MJ is the top jc for PW! i thought it was hwa chong but it turned out that they have 85% As instead of 100% as i heard.

saw this on kenji's blog:
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_361512.html#

it's my first A in jc. (so noob right zzz) it's nothing special anyway, since 95.5% of the school scored the same grade. but i'm still happy nonetheless.

2009-04-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

band got silver for SYF. seeing the juniors' facebook status(es?) made me think about SYF'07 all over again.

cliched as it is, the whole event is still vivid in my memory even though it happened 2 years ago. i had maintained composure right up till the results were announced. although i was mentally prepared that we would probably get silver, the results were still a big blow. and seriously, emo-ing is like an epidemic. seeing some of the sec 4s in tears after the results were announced made me cry too. even some of the alumni who came to support us were tearing.

i can totally relate to amirah's facebook note. it was exactly how i felt right after SYF. given our situation in 2007 (last minute change of conductor, all that emotional turmoil), being able to achieve a silver is already a commendable feat. as some had said, be glad we didn't get a COP. but i was still disappointed beyond words. we lost our gold. i felt as though we had "downgraded" our status as a gold band.

looking back, i realised that the result isn't that important after all. i learnt life lessons through running the cca. we struggled with our studies and practices, and eventually won (c'mon, look at the stellar o level results!). we had thought of dropping out of SYF, but we made it anyway. many of us broke down from the pressure, but most managed to hang on till SYF ended. thinking back at all those night practices, rehearsals during school hours, spending 14 hours in school on fridays (lessons, practice, night study), i'm still quite amazed at how we managed to endure all that.

i listened to the SYF recording of overture jubiloso and sunrise a few months later. and i thoroughly agree with the alumni that it was the best we had ever played. we did our very best, and i'm proud of it.

i believe that most band members can relate to all these, especially the sec 4s/5s. all these experiences in your SYF journey are valuable too. you guys had braved the storm together, and that's already winning half the battle.

and no matter what, your lao jiao senior will always love dunman band. you guys will always rock the stage.

2009-04-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

today's recess reminded me of that night practice in sec 4 when everyone gave me a big shock and sang "happy birthday" during announcements.

anyway, thank you everyone from 08S201, chui wen, bro, dominic, elliot, sandy, yihan, danny, kenji, jin ming, wei yang, jiayi, mr cha, that councillor who happened to pass by, facebook and a lot of other people whom i can't remember offhand.

it was a sad day before that but they brightened things up. once again, thank you.

[edit 3/4/09]
i have more people to thank!

wei fang, ming har (you forgot but i forgive you!), shawn (he smsed at 11.57pm yesterday LOL), kah hwee, nicholas loh and karilynn (she smsed at 12.01am today!).

anyway, happy birthday chia siang!

and... good luck juniors for SYF!
----
it's hard trying to be optimistic.

2009-04-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

the team list's out.
acting nonchalant seems to be the best way for now.
truth is, i'm disappointed beyond words.
i did try my best to play better.
i've always attended trainings.
but one year on, i'm still not good enough.

i've nothing to say for MBT results.
it's the first time i failed GP paper 1.
and it's the first time i've done so badly for sciences.

it's probably the saddest birthday ever, but still, thanks wy for trying to cheer me up. and thanks bro, for getting my bday cake one day before because he had to book in.

2009-03-28T22:37:00.000-07:00

i've been slacking so much this weekend that i don't feel like going for lessons tomorrow. =x

friday:
after econs post mortem, we went for an all girls outing at orchard. lunched at aston's (i feel so fat now), watched confessions of a shopaholic (it wasn't as bimbotic as i thought!) and walked from the cathay to far east (it was a plane ride away) to shop around. boon khin bought this purple dress which resembles my white one. i only realised it when i got home. haha.

overall, it was fun. i haven't gone shopping or watched a movie for a really long time. haha.

finally got down to playing the piano again when i got home. it felt good, but it seems like my standard is decreasing at an exponential rate. help...

yesterday:
it was a sunny day so i went for a swim, my first time in months. the water was warm, super shiok! but when i reached the pool, the sun decided to hide behind a big cloud... so i didn't get much of a tan. anyway the teaching pool was so crowded that i had to zig zag my way through to avoid people... but i still managed to kick some swimming coach accidentally and nearly got whacked in the jaw by a kid. zzz.

i moved to the competitive pool where swimmers are ONLY supposed to swim continuously along the length of the pool, but there were still people who swam along the breadth. i had to end up zig zagging across the pool again to avoid people. -.-

later at night, i went to change my phone! my sony ericsson suddenly decided to give up on me. -.- the bluetooth, USB, network reception and memory started malfunctioning all at once. it was only a year old! oh well, maybe i dropped it too many times. zzz.

anyway, i have a samsung F480 now and paid $118 because it was on offer. HAHAHA at weiyang who paid $258! like damn gay sia, having the same phone as your friend. >.< but it's a cool phone. i like the widgets! because i paid for it myself, i'll be a lot nicer to my phone now lest it 出什么三长两短. and because it's touch screen, i actually feel compelled to be a lot gentler with it. =x

i feel quite unmotivated to continue working on COH project after putting it on hold during MBTs. it's as though studies have sapped away my motivation for it. ok, i have to get started by today.

having fun aside, i've been reflecting...

i've been missing bowling sessions outside training. although i had other stuff which clashed, i can't help but feel a little guilty. it's not as though i'm really good at it now and would not need the extra practice. in fact, i'm probably in need of practice more than anyone else.

after mulling over it for so long, i finally realised my problem. it doesn't lie with my skill or technique, it's just me.

i've been insulted, scolded, criticised, encouraged, comforted, *insert noun here* so many times, i've lost count. i don't blame the people around me who offered all these, but i'm scared of playing now. even when i strike or spare, i don't feel any sense of satisfaction, because i'm fearful of screwing up the next frame. i'm scared to know my score at the end of every game. i turn up for trainings in fear, afraid that i can't get my stuff right again.

it sounds totally irrational, i know. but at this rate i'm going, i don't see myself playing for A div, not even as a reserve. if i don't make it, it's a disappointment to myself. and it says a lot about my skills because the intake per year is so small. perhaps it's just a matter of status after all, i'm not afraid to admit that. in singapore, no one likes being the last.

it's been quite some time since i've joined this cca. yet i don't see myself making much progress. maybe things would have been different if i was in another cca, but there's no time for regrets now.

i'm not wallowing in self pity. it's just my thoughts.

endurance, endurance. it's going to be over soon.

2009-03-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

since there was chem post mortem just now and econs post mortem tomorrow, i shall do a MBTs post mortem here!

random: i was sorely tempted to slap that person's face during chem post mortem. zzz.

chem paper is a confirmed goner. act-smart me decided to change some of my INITIALLY-CORRECT answers in section b into other stuff. i think i lost at least 10 marks for that in 2 questions. plus that brain juice-sapping deductive question which wasted so much of my time and other screw-ups... zzz.

physics paper was screwed. there wasn't enough time to study everything and i made a very wrong decision to skip superposition. i couldn't do the first question in section c at all! damn, i should've skipped potentiometers instead. zzz.

math was just as screwed. i didn't blog about this yesterday, but i couldn't do the vectors questions at all because i focused on studying calculus instead. the vectors questions were easy but i couldn't remember the formulae at all! the calculus questions were tough crap.

while settling admin stuff for CIP with vincent just now, we were dividing the people into groups and couldn't figure out why there were missing people. we only realised much later that we counted wrongly. (it's only 30 people) -.-

conclusion: we're all suffering from post exam trauma. LOL.

after surviving on caffeine for the past week and sleeping only 4 hours a night to cram, i finally got my beauty sleep in the form of a 2 hour catnap (ok it's not really a catnap since 2 hours is considered long for me). NICEEE.

random again: i'm starting to like coffee even though it makes me sleepless and i get hangovers if it's too strong. it's like my drug leh! =x

i know i sound like some hardcore mugger in the above paragraph, but it's only because i started studying late. or rather i didn't study much until last week because of CIP.

in a nutshell: like my facebook status says, i'll do spectacularly badly for MBTs.
----
something else:

it's quite politically incorrect to blog about such an experience, but i think it's fine. i mean, i'm not really scared by this.

disclaimer: read this with an open mind, tyvm.

we were mugging in the library after school as usual, and we left quite late except for boon khin. crazy gary, joshua and joel stayed back even later than us to study. zzz. to cut the long story short, weiyang, danny and i took the same bus on the way home. we were standing at the front of the bus and they spotted a guy at the back staring at me. wait, before your imagination starts going off tangent, read on! (or maybe the outcome is already quite predictable) =x

the guys warned me to be careful of him when they alighted at pasir ris interchange. initially i thought they were pulling my leg. zzz. ok, i moved to the cushion at the standing space on the bus (it's the new model of the single deck bus) while he sat down diagonally opposite me. i decided to be a little more mindful and glanced occasionally at the guy. heck, weiyang and danny were right. -.- i was starting to feel uncomfortable because i could see him staring from the corner of my eye.

to my utter shock/surprise, he whipped out his phone and pointed the camera lens in my direction. WTF. and he thought i didn't notice. i stared back till he was too embarrassed to look in my direction and looked out of the window instead. when i looked away, i could feel him staring again. zzz. (i couldn't possibly make a scene so that was the best i could manage)

WTH MAN, WTH. i've heard a lot of these but never expected it to happen to me. nah, i'm not traumatised by it. just infuriated and -.-ed.
----
my phone is dying. rahh...

2009-03-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

OMG I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

the maclaurin's series question in the math paper left me stumped. after wasting a lot of time pondering over it, i decided to skip it. when i finally thought of the solution after doing other questions, i went back to it.

i was supposed to use the cos formula because i changed the sin^2 function to a cos function.

guess what i did.

I FREAKING USED THE SINE FORMULA INSTEAD.

to think that i was practically jumping for joy when i finally figured it out. i only realised the mistake when we were about to hand in our papers.

OMG OMG OMG.

i was cursing when as i passed my paper to the invigilator. zzz.

i might really "qing yi se" U for block tests. (s104's inside joke last year) OMG.
----
second thing that's rant-worthy:

ms lam ran out of SYF entrance tickets. i should've asked earlier. DAMN. and there's no SYF preview this year. =(

ultimate suay-ness, seriously.

2009-03-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

if you are out to criticise me, please have the guts to say it straight in my face.

on something entirely unrelated,

i've seen too much of such things happening.
i don't want to believe in it anymore.

i'm half glad that there's spikey united project to take charge of because it's a good distraction.

on a lighter note, i was looking at jeremy's and yuting's photo coverage for the camp and realised that jeremy's face still dominates the collection. -.-

[edit]
just found out that dunman band's syf is on 3 april. hopefully i can rush down to support the juniors. *crosses fingers*

2009-03-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

warning: picture heavy post ahead.

i'm back from spikey heroes camp! am damn tired and a little feverish now because i slept for less than an hour last night in the freezing cold room after walking around tampines central till 4.30am. we were supposed to either sleep or study just outside the bunk but only christian and i brought notes. boon khin, jeremy, junjia, yi long, gavin, poh heng, christian and i didn't feel like sleeping yet and we ended up walking from the coffee shop nearby to TM and to the playground at sunplaza park. lol.

overall, it was a good experience. being the photographer was so fun. it's nice being the paparazzi for once! save for some hiccups here and there and some drama-mama towards the end of the camp, everything was pretty ok.

seeing the clients there made me appreciate life a lot more than before. yeah, i complained a lot while organising the project. but come think of it, we're a lot more fortunate than them.

anyway, thank you vincent, for all the effort throughout the event. i couldn't have done all that alone. and jeremy too, for his banana yellow jacket on that super cold night/morning.

i was looking through the photos and realised that there're loads of pictures with junjia and jeremy in them. -.-

the pics are in chronological order, but not all of them are here because there're just too many.

camwhore no. 1 - jeremy.

working on the group flag...

camwhore no. 2 - junjia.

breaking the ice...

telematch

we saw this cat during the telematch and vincent snapped it.

treasure hunt:

hi yeon ju!

we were spying on one another. haha.

prize presentation for treasure hunt:

california!

the yellow beng team! (pretend that vincent and jeremy are not there.)

happy family!

LOL.

i thought this looked hilarious so i snapped it.

camera corrosive pls. =x

look at the height difference. -.-

junjia and yi long have the same pose. lol.

that was damn stupid. haha.

vincent's expression is priceless.

movie screening:

i was sleepy so i only took one pic.

that's all!

i'm so gonna prove you wrong.

2009-03-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

i bumped into mr chee so many times in school this week that it ain't funny. strange thing is, it always happens when i'm hanging out with vincent. -.-

saw this on facebook...

david's law of root mean square: (you'll know what i'm talking about if you take H2 physics)

Vrms = resistance x mass x displacement

another one!

PV = nRT
power x volume = no. of moles x resistance x temperature

ownage pls.

spikey heroes camp tomorrow. hope everything goes well.

finished posting in less than 10 minutes!

You might think I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

2009-03-11T01:33:00.000-07:00

it seems like the rate of tagging on my blog is directly proportional to my level of emo-ness. -.- not implying anything on the taggers though, it was just something i noticed.

anyway, i'm too lazy and busy to post, so here's something to share:

River Flows In You - Yiruma

my latest muse, along with my current blog song.

2009-03-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

it's dumb to get so worked up over something so trivial, but...

people going "aww, poor thing"/"aww, so sad" about my life (or rather the lack of it) and chinese A's results is getting on my nerves.

whether you're genuinely sympathetic or just being condescending, i don't need it. thank you very much.

2009-03-06T04:58:00.000-08:00

it's been a sucky week.

chinese a level results came as a big shock. i totally didn't expect to drop from B during promos to D. even the others didn't believe me when i told them my grade. it was so bad, i wandered around ehub while waiting for lanes at the bowling alley because i felt like crying. felt so shagged during bowling today that i hit a record low score of 27 in the third game. yeah, go ahead and LOL at me.

probably the whole world knows that i broke down during training already. like, wah lau. it doesn't make any difference if i post about this here since so many people know about it. worse part is, the more people try to encourage me, the more stressed i get.

i need a break. please.

2009-03-04T05:10:00.000-08:00

i swear man, i've never taken on a project that's such a pain in the ass in my entire life. i wonder if vincent regrets taking up the assistant IC post. zzz.

come on, i'll pull through it. hopefully without bombing block tests along the way.
----
WHEN I PUT "DON'T TALK TO ME" ON MY NICK AND IF MY STATUS IS BUSY, I REALLY MEAN IT.

like, which part of that statement do you not comprehend?

it's seriously unfunny to have not one, but 3 jokers coming to talk to you on totally irrelevant stuff with 2 of them going "aww, poor thing" when they find out that you're working your ass off, trying to do 3 things on the com at once.

i should just appear offline next time.

2009-03-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

a really quick post....

to do list:

1. contact all volunteers (32 J2s spread all over the school) involved in spikey united project
2. contact J1s to hand over LCCS project
3. hunt down people who still owe consent forms for spikey heroes camp
4. STUDY PHYSICS SPA!!!!!!!!!
5. settle admin/logistics with teachers and SMU people
6. math tutorial

i'm sooooo dead.

i wonder if you still remember that day.

2009-02-26T23:16:00.001-08:00

ok, just posting here to remove the sian 1/2-ness (LOL boon khin and javin) of this place.

epic event of the year: some beetle crawled into my school uniform and i felt it walking around my chest area while on the bus. i was so freaked out, i crushed it immediately. =x i reached school just in time for assembly so i didn't have time to get the thing out from my clothes and i had to ren till assembly ended before making a dash for the toilet to get the carcass out. talk about outrage of modesty can, fancy crawling around inside my clothes. *shudders*

eh, but i didn't scream hor. =)
----
this was a facebook thing, but i decided to post it here instead. gosh, it's really long.

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"

IF I TAGGED YOU, PLEASE PUT THIS UP ON YOUR PAGE AS A NOTE AND TAG SOME OTHER PEOPLE!

ok... i was tagged by ming har.

QIANOLOGY =)

***********FOOD-OLOGY***************
what is the salad dressing of your choice?
thousand island.

what is your favourite sit-down restaurant?
none in particular.

what food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
plain white rice. (it sounds a bit crazy, but i like rice on its own)

what are the pizza toppings of your choice?
spam cheese! (omg so sinful)

what do you like to put on your toast?
french toast: syrup
regular toast: jam/butter

**********TECHNOLOGY***************
how many television sets do you have at home?
1. we're not exactly glued to the goggle box 24/7.

what is the colour of your cell phone?
bronze/black.

***************BIOLOGY******************
are you right-handed or left-handed?
right handed.

have you had anything removed from your body?
teeth?

what was the last heavy item you lifted?
bowling bag with all the stuff inside.

have you ever been knocked unconscious?
nope, and i hope not.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
if it were possible, would you want to know the day you are going to die?
nope. it's better to live life as it comes. i mean, i wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life dreading my dying day.

if you could change your name, what would you change it to?
i don't know, but probably to something less cheesy, but just as unique. =x but actually i'm pretty fine with my name.

would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
not in this lifetime. i'm a loser when it comes to spicy stuff.

************DUMBOLOGY******************
how many pairs of flip-flops do you have?
2.

last time you had a run-in with the cops?
i'm a good citizen! =)

last person you talked to?
jeremy.

(i deliberately left out the last question in this section.)

**************FAVORITOLOGY***************

season?
autumn or winter, can't decide.

holiday?
CNY.

day of the week?
no comments, every day seems to be the same. >.<

month?
no comments either.

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
missing someone?
no comments.

mood?
pretty neutral.

what are you listening to?
frank sinatra hits medley - tokyo kosei wind orchestra

watching?
the computer screen.

worrying about?
CIP, bowling, econs test, homework... the list goes on. =(

*************RANDOMOLOGY***************
first place you went this morning?
school.

what was the last movie you saw?
the pianist.

do you smile often?
i don't know. i just smile when i feel like it.

do you always answer your phone?
if i can hear it ringing/vibrating.

it's 4 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
i don't think anyone i know would sms at that ungodly hour. LOL.

if you could change your eye colour, what would it be?
blue-grey, or maybe brown.

what flavourdo you add to your drink at sonic?
(apparently sonic is a drive in restaurant in US.)
sprite, as always.

do you own a digital camera?
nope, everything's snapped by the lousy handphone camera.

have you ever had a pet fish?
nope.

favourite christmas song?
none in particular.

can you do push ups?
yup.

can you do chin ups?
i'll just hang on the chin up bar. =x

does the future make you more nervous or excited?
i'm pretty neutral about it.

do you have any saved texts?
loads. i'm lazy to clear my inbox.

ever been in a car wreck?
nope.

do you have an accent?
does a singaporean accent count?

what was the last song that made you cry?
overture jubiloso and sunrise. (SYF'07)

plans tonight?
MUG.

have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yup.

name 3 things you bought last week.
notes, lunch and drinks.

have you ever been given roses?
yup.

current worry?
surviving jc life/CIP/bowling.

current hate right now?
my inability to FRIGGING BOWL PROPERLY.

how did you bring in the new year?
with notes and tutorials. (sheesh how boring)

which song represents you?
just so you know/a little too not over you.

name 3 people who might complete this.
kenji. avid blogger mah!
not too sure about the others though.

what were you doing at 12am last night?
studying calculus. >.<

what was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
SIAN 1/2! zzz.

wow, i'm finally done. i'm not tagging anyone to do it though, it's free for all. =)

2009-02-25T00:43:00.000-08:00

i can't blog about chem spa because of the gag order, so i'll just say that "suay" is a major understatement if i were to describe what happened during the exam.

am dreading training tomorrow. i don't know why i can't handle the ball just like everyone else. i'm lagging behind the others. it's been a year, but there hasn't been much progress. am i just not up to this sport? i don't know.

i finally realised what it all meant.
the cycle just keeps repeating itself.
hate is a strong word which i rarely use.
but there's no other word to describe this appropriately.

part of me hates everything that has happened.
another part of me is relieved and maybe thankful.
yet another part of me is still aching from the pain.

so confused.

2009-02-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

i don't know what to say, seriously.
just damn disappointed with myself.

lecture tests - fail.
CIP - going haywire.
bowling - can't even hold the ball properly.
piano - just found out that i had forgotten even the simplest stuff. pachabel's canon also can screw up.
road race - i'll only say that i came in somewhere between the 100th to 200th runner. and my running shoes gave up on me 2 days later. zzz.

i feel like i'm having a major hangover now, probably from the lack of sleep. thank goodness school starts at 9.15am tomorrow.

and i feel really guilty for being so f up these days. sorry guys. =(

PS: i'm not wallowing in self pity. i just need to rant.

2009-02-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

i'll survive youth connect and spikey united project.
i'll survive youth connect and spikey united project.
i'll survive youth connect and spikey united project.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
=(

[edit]
omg wth my phone's network is failing me. there's no reception anywhere! c'mon don't die on me yet i still need to keep tabs with the youth connect person!

please stop opening old wounds.
why do i still dream of you?

2009-02-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

this...

took me the whole day to prepare. zzz. 52 gifts for 08s201, 08s104, bowling people and some others. sheesh, i'm probably the only weird person who gives v day presents 2 or 3 days late. =x but i feel so accomplished man!

youth connect's (some project to raise awareness on volunteering opportunities for various organisations) getting on my nerves. because...

1. i'm not partnered with any reach rep to work with on liasing with the assigned organisation. so if anything crops up, i have to face the shit alone. (which has already happened)

2. the first organisation i was assigned to did not respond to emails. when i called the number posted on the website, i was transferred through 3 extensions before being told that the person in charge of volunteering opportunities was not in.

3. i was given a new organisation to work with on thursday. the final proposal was due last night and i couldn't hand it in because i can only get the full CIP details tomorrow. i couldn't blame the exco for breathing down my neck for the proposal, but there was really nothing i could do and i couldn't possibly hand in a proposal with only the bare facts.

4. 08s201 will be down for youth connect duty (i.e manning the booth, publicising the CIP activities of the organisation we're assigned to...) on thursday. we're supposed to set up the booth on wednesday afternoon and probably 2/3 of the class can't help in the preparations because of cca. so, it's gonna be just me and a few others who will be doing preparations on wednesday.

this gives the term "sai kang warrior" a whole new meaning, really. zzz.

2009-02-10T04:50:00.000-08:00

yes, i'm worse than you are.
there's a limit to how much insults one can take, be it in jest or in serious terms.
if you're asking if i'm pissed, i'll deny it.
because i'm just going to look like the villian again.

friendships are so superficial.

2009-02-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

random statements as usual...

am seriously doubting my ability to finish road race now. maybe i shouldn't have geykiang and signed up for the competitive category. sure, what matters is the experience and not winning, but now i'm having doubts on whether i can actually complete the whole 3.3km without stopping. zzz.

i think my calf muscles just increased in width. LOL. i can feel some veins poking out on my right calf already. omg.

i feel like signing up to perform for soiree but i don't want to do a solo gig. jazz band/piano duets anyone?

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor...

2009-02-04T03:34:00.000-08:00

nic showed me something that's worthy of tabloid fodder yesterday. or rather it has already become gossip fodder in school.

from: http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2255480&page=4

click on the image to view the blog post.

yeah, i know it's kind of slow to only see this now since kenji has already got a post on it and it's probably the hottest gossip in school now. zzz.

so much for not being arrogant or discriminating when the paragraph right before that statement is already a major contradiction to the claim.

i'm not a target of his criticism, but those insults are way too much. like kenji said, if it was a slip of a tongue that led him to post such things, he could very well have been forgiven by all those netizens who flamed him. but since he's obviously unrepentant, all the spam he got are well deserved, seriously.

singapore doesn't have a caste system, dude. poly and ITE students deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else. an A level cert doesn't get you anywhere in the working world. at least a poly diploma or ITE nitec equips the students with the life skills they need to survive in the concrete jungle.

the very same people whom you think have bad genes are those who are the pillars of the society. you think your relative's fucked up for having an aerospace diploma, marrying an ITE grad and going overseas. without aerospace engineers, do you think you can travel safely in an A380? if you were given the job of a flight tech now, you're just going to screw up big time because you know nuts about it. there's nothing about engineering in the A level syllabus. a poly grad who's not much older than you would probably be able to do a way better job.

(this got me quite pissed because my bro's an aerospace poly grad. zzz.)

life isn't just about studies, earning big bucks and academics. poly/ITE students are way more street smart than us jc kids. and yes, they definitely have more life than us.

so, what makes you think you're superior to them?

and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for making netizens think that jc students are elitists. but thanks for spicing up mundane school life.

PS: i wonder if mugging too hard warps one's perception of things.

2009-01-30T20:58:00.000-08:00

it's a great day for swimming but i'm not going because my legs are aching like %^&* after 2 consecutive days of running. zzz.

ipod armbands are so expensive. =(

anyway, look what i brought home!

actually it has been living in my house since last week but didn't blog about it. can't play it though, because one of the keys is leaking. zzz. i can't seem to repair it! damn.

ok, i shouldn't be here because there're tons of work to do and there's a test on monday. =x byeeeee.
----
[edit]
i did physics e learning while half asleep so i didn't really get what was going on in the first part of DC circuits... the first page of the tutorial left me stumped. zzz. i tried logging into IVLE to see the lecture again but i got locked out!

this is pissing me off.

and i dropped some orange pulp on my laptop! ARGHHHHH.

oh, and did i mention that i love using that overused CNY pun to piss people off? LOL.

i wonder if you're afraid or you just don't care.

2009-01-30T02:54:00.000-08:00

running is addictive. seriously. but i slacked my way through the last 2 laps of today's 2.4km run and came in 3rd among the 5 of us even though i was leading in the first 3 laps. zzz.
----
for everyone's sake, please do something about it. politics are complicated.

as an outsider, i may not be in a position to comment. i don't even know the people involved personally. and given my position, it's unlikely you would actually listen. pardon me for posting this here but i really don't know how else to tell you. but i don't even know if you'll see this.

i'm speaking from personal experience now. for all i know, i may even have gotten the wrong idea. hopefully what i've pieced together is correct.

don't belittle them or say that you're not bothered. this isn't just about yourself, it concerns everyone. it's way better to take the plunge and clear things up than to let everything escalate to a point where it cannot be salvaged anymore. i mean, how long more can you actually not bother/pretend not to bother/feign ignorance? problems don't resolve by themselves.

there's no "I" in a team, every single person matters. similarly, you don't do things because you feel like it, but because it's for everyone's sake. it's really not worth watching people leave or lose interest because of such issues.

but if you're still that unreceptive to advice and opinions, there isn't much others can do. yes, it may be good to stay firm in your own perspectives, but things don't always work this way.

i'm not saying this to spite you, and i'm not trying to interfere in your affairs either. i sincerely wish you would keep this post in mind if you do happen to see it.
----
i feel as though my ego had been given a good bashing during yesterday's training. *exhales hard* i need to improve, fast. dang.

2009-01-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

hello humans, non-humans, aliens, particles, bacteria, animals, non-living objects...

happy 牛 year!

yeah, it's that overused pun, again. haha.

cny so far has been pretty mundane though. and the effects of the economic crisis is clearly showing in the celebration budget. not that i'm complaining though.

i've no photos to show cny celebrations, sadly.

i crashed 08s104's "reunion" since there wasn't much to do over at 08s201. we lao-ed yu sheng and i followed wei yang around the school with nic in his search for free food from other classes. LOL. damn paiseh please. =x

the concert was a blast! mr wong sang 说好的幸福呢 and it was better than i thought. unlike jay chou, he enunciates every word clearly. HAHA. i used to be so crazy about that song, i listened to it on repeat mode. =x mr lau sang i believe, which was not too bad either.

not bad eh, both of my chem teachers can sing. teehee.

2 other teachers (i forgot their names) did a duet on piano and soprano sax. i had thought they were going to pull off a jazz piece (i mean, combining these 2 instruments usually means a jazz duet) but they didn't. never mind, the sax's tone was so sexy (pun intended), it made up for everything. LOL.

went bowling at night and i hit a new record!

5 strikes in one game. how cool is that!

but my other games were bad though. zzz.

we didn't do much cny preparations at home. yeah, this year's a pretty quiet affair. but i can show you my new bedsheet...

i'll ace my math now because i'm surrounded by numbers when i sleep. HAHAHA.

heading off to bai nian tomorrow and i'll be wearing a dress! pardon me lah, it's my first time wearing a dress since prom in sec 4. yeah, i'm this man. *rolls eyes* if i have a photo of it tomorrow i'll post it up and you can all ROFL at me. =x

我担心你出事。

2009-01-21T02:14:00.000-08:00

ok, i don't understand my new blog song but it's nice nevertheless. HAHA.

my laptop's touchpad is getting on my nerves. rahhh. i'm so proud to say that another touch-sensitive device has failed to detect me again. zzz.

the fingerprint sensor on the same lappy can't detect my fingerprint properly too. so i'm still using old school passwords instead of biometric identification to log me in. oh, and those face detection things on digital cameras can NEVER detect my face. plus plus plus, those automatic passport machines at singapore customs can't detect my thumbprint either.

sheesh, i've no affinity with biometric devices. LOL.

i suddenly forgot what i had wanted to blog about. gawd. never mind then.

but here's something funny to share (got this from an email):

Dumb and Dumber in the Real World

"While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.' "
----
"My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. "
----
"While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding..
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.' "
----

believe me, i'm trying.

2009-01-19T05:13:00.000-08:00

ok, kenji's tag made me want to clarify something.

I'M NOT EMO.

period.
----
something today made me realise how blessed i was. yeah, i'm not gonna hold grudges against it anymore.
----
gawd, some random double reeds blog which i stumbled upon made me miss band all over again.

"once a band member, always a band member."

damn true.

2009-01-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

i can't freaking hook properly. and i can't spin properly either so i'm like in no-man's land now. damn. i want my reactive ball lehhhhhh. yesterday's training was funneh. i can stick 3 fingers into the thumb hole of daryl's/rq's ball. (read it a few times and it'll sound wrong.) HAHA. i'm not supposed to do that but it was just for cheap entertainment. =x

as luck would have it, i cut my lip yesterday, which means i probably won't be able to play oboe if i visit dunman tomorrow. =( it bled so badly that blood was dripping down my chin, wth. i ended up with 3 blood soaked tissues. damn scary lah, i've never bled so much in my entire life! (periods don't count lah ok.)

and then i was entertaining this really random (to some extent, morbid) thought of using pads to staunch the bleeding. i won't talk about that or people might just start pelting used pads at me. HAHA.

even better, i had sambal stingray for dinner and my entire lower lip felt like it was on fire. zzz.

we're only 5 days into the new school year but it feels as though a few years have already passed. (sherman said that and i totally agree.) i shouldn't be complaining though, since the new timetable is already quite shiok as compared to last year's.

it's 1.30am and i've yet to find out if halogen derivatives tutorial actually exists. wah lau, why is everyone dao-ing me... =(

some kid from the hdb block next to my house fell to his death. gawd, i actually heard a loud thud and thought that a water pipe had burst. the details are fuzzy though, but the thought of something like this happening so close to home is unnerving. then again, i'd better not think so much before it scares me out of carving out a career in forensic science in future. =x

you don't know how much it means to me.
give me some time, i'll prove that i'm not who you perceive to be.

i'm not ashamed to admit that i've let you down.
i'm willing to take the blame on my part.
give me a chance, i'll make up for it.

2009-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

currently having mixed feelings about life.

you're right.
you're so damn right.
i'm just a bloody quitter who doesn't even have the guts to tell others the real reason for dropping econs.

i didn't drop econs because i thought i couldn't cope.
i didn't drop econs because of band.
i did it because i gave in to pressure.

i'm already half regretting my decision.

but it's too late already right?
just suck everything up and live with it lor.
just 10 more months and the dreaded A's would be over.
sigh.
----
[edited 15/1]
*might as well put all my emo thoughts in one post. i don't think anyone would understand anyway.

the world's an ugly place.

tears?
there're none.

self delusion?
maybe.

emotional state?
i don't know.

2009-01-11T04:36:00.000-08:00

one last post before school starts tomorrow. i still have blanks in my chem homework and it's due tomorrow morning. zzz.

the embed code for imeem songs suddenly became so freaking long. -.-

anyway, the tenor sax solo in frank sinatra hits medley is so sexy. haha. i'm so into jazz now.

on a totally unrelated note, iljimae's OST is dang nice, especially the symphonic pieces.
----
oh, i found a box of london choco roll at home. if you had watched the little nyonya (i'll blog about that later), you would have seen that commercial. HAHA. seems like that song in the advert worked. =x if you've seen it you would know what i'm talking about. HAHAHA.

anyway, london choco roll kind of cheated my feelings. the commercial showed the roll chock-full of cream on tv, but when i opened the wrapper, i couldn't see any cream in it at all. zzz. so much for "milky choco taste, double choco treat", as quoted from the english version of the ad. HAHAHA.
----
london choco roll reminded me of the little nyonya, because the ad airs during the commercial breaks. lol. if you've been living 20000 leagues under the sea, you would be forgiven for not knowing what it is. ok, if you really don't know what's going on, i'm talking about that much-hyped weepie which just ended its run on tv.

i had avoided the drama like the plague initially. it was just so over hyped, i didn't believe it was that great. (same sentiments towards twilight i guess) but i got bitten by the bug too and contributed to the show's viewership. haha.

and after reading countless articles in the papers about the drama, i shall let the bitch in me rear its ugly head and make a dig (or maybe a few) at the drama. MUAHAHAHA. warning: you have to watch the drama first or what goes on below would just sound like gibberish to you.

a few note worthy points from the reviews:

the ending drew much flak from viewers because most wanted to see chen xi and yueniang to get married and live happily ever after.

my take: i think it's a lot more realistic this way. one doesn't always get the luxury of living happily ever after with their true love. but that's beside the point. yueniang would probably die of guilt after marrying chen xi because in the first place, yuzhu was supposed to marry him but got knocked up by robert zhang when she took her place in yueniang's room. so how on earth can they end up together?

many people praised jeanette(sp?) aw to the skies for tackling 2 characters so well in the same drama.

my take: fans of jeanette, don't kill me please, but seriously, the roles don't suit her personality. for some reason, she didn't quite pull it off. besides, the supporting roles were a lot more challenging than the 2 characters she had to play. i would rather give the credits to the supporting characters. c'mon, everyone would love to hate robert zhang right? zzen chong was so convincing, i can't quite imagine him as that nice and blur guy in fallen angel (some older drama) already. HAHA.

yueniang miraculously escaped from a burning house in the last episode.

my take: now i'm convinced that yueniang has super powers, having survived being tossed into the sea, the war, being pushed into a well, and of course, escaping the fire. justice league should include her now.

in a nutshell: pretty good drama, but it's seriously DAMN overrated. but it has given me much entertainment through the holidays though.
----
i can't believe i just spent one post rambling about soap operas and tv commercials. omg.

it's time to watch the little nyonya: the final chapter. haha. i'm wondering what the producers can squeeze into 5 minutes. 0.o
----
so, o level results will be released tomorrow. good luck juniors!

2009-01-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

my guess was right.
that gut feeling which i had for so long was true.
no matter how hard i'm trying to stay upbeat, the ache still lingers.

i deserve to be stabbed, seriously.
fk life.

2009-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

i'm currently in a very awkward position, sitting on my bedroom floor with my laptop balanced precariously on my right thigh and the cable tangled around me. LOL. i'm a sucker when it comes to wires. i nearly got strangled by my own earpiece once. =x

gawd, school starts in 9 days. boohoo.
----
i used to look forward to chinese new year preparations, and since it's so early this year, i should be feeling super excited now right?

strangely, i'm not. new year goodies are everywhere and festive songs are blasting on TV but i don't feel the excitement at all. same goes for 2009 countdown a few days back. i wasn't even interested in watching it on TV. somehow the festive mood just doesn't infect me lah. or rather, the excitement has been waning over the years, to the extent where 1st jan 2009 just feels like another dreary day in 2008.

hmm, i guess that's the scary thing about growing up. you just start losing the ability to see the fun side of things.

or am i facing some mid life crisis? =x (i honestly hope not)
----
my legs are turning numb from sitting in that stance. zzz. and my bladder feels like it's bursting. k lah, let me ramble on for a while more before making a dash for the toilet. haha.
----
because life's been pretty mundane, it's just random updates for now:

i need to embark on a drama marathon if i want to finish watching forensic heroes 2 before school starts. zzz. hey, watching HK dramas isn't auntie ok! i actually find them nicer than local dramas.

i suddenly feel like playing need for speed, lol. unfortunately all the versions of NFS at home aren't vista-compatible. hey, it's nice to tell people that i own a souped up porsche cayman S and a mazda RX-8! it's just that there's an anticlimax to it: both rides come in the form of computer graphics. HAHA.

gawd, i don't like holiday homework. =(
----
ok lah, i can't stand being stuck in this position any longer. ciao.

if i could turn back time, i wouldn't have let things degenerate to this state.

2009-01-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

so, it's 2009. but it doesn't feel like it at all.

i used to look forward to 2nd jan because it would have been the start of a new school year. i loved cca orientation performances and looking out for new juniors, especially in 2007 when i got to audition the sec 1s. LOL. but things are different now.

school's starting in 10 days and i'm dreading it. zzz. i absolutely don't see anything to look forward to in 2009. a new class, A levels, A division (i'm not just dreading it, i'm fearing it)...

i don't have any confidence that i can handle all that, on top of other issues.

you can carry on thinking that i'm crazy to help in organising that alumni band performance when there're already so many things in store for me. after all, it has always been jeffrey who's been doing it. sad to say, band is probably the only thing i can find solace in now.

i don't really care much about legal restrictions being lifted next year. i can't drink much booze, i'm against smoking and getting a driver's licence now is out of the question. so, what's there to look forward to when i'm 18?

but i'm really hoping that things would take a turn for the better this year. i really need a new start ok.

sorry readers (if there're even any now), i just had to kick start the new year with a melancholic post.
----
ok, moving on to something more upbeat...

here're my resolutions for 2009!

1. get pretty results
it's the A levels, so i guess that explains it all? i want my place in uni!

2. stop brooding
i think that's the most pressing issue now. i need to master the ability to stay happy no matter what happens. zzz. hmm... maybe being busying myself might help.

3. recover my zai-ness in music (both piano and oboe)
i know it sounds damn bhb lah, haha. but seriously, my performance has been going downhill since the start of 2008. since i started bowling during JAE, i haven't been able to play piano properly because of right wrist issues. zzz.

4. make this year's alumni band performance a success
we broke the tradition of performing bi-annually at concerts. hopefully we can gather enough people to perform this year.

5. love school
i can't wait to get my butt out of jc, actually. but since there's another year to go, i need to start learning to love it. zzz.

6. keep in contact with 08s104
i'll miss everyone! aren't you guys touched that i actually left this as a new year resolution! haha.

7. improve on bowling
i'm living in fear that i'll be a reserve for A div, because I CAN'T FREAKING PLAY HOOK TO SAVE MY LIFE. and it's not like my spinning style is godlike either. so i'm currently in no man's land? and even if i end up in A div's main team, i don't want to be the last in rankings. zzz.

i can't think of any more resolutions so i'll just leave it at 7.
----
[edit]
it's been a year, but i still miss secondary school days.

everyone was happy then.
pretences were few and far between.
more importantly, things weren't so stressful/competitive.

it's nothing like what's happening now.
----
i'm feeling pretty random again, so that explains why life's updates are well, random.

yesterday's mugging session with ming har at T3 was bordering on frustration because there were so many kids there who were either running and screaming across the whole viewing gallery or throwing a fit. GAWD.

david archuleta's rendition of when you believe is amazing. *swoons*

yesterday's bowling cost a whopping 5 bucks per game. the 5 of us ended up playing really slowly at 1 lane and we took 2 hours just to finish 2 games. haha. but i feel like i wasted my money because my scores sucked. zzz.

i should've bought a brunswick bowling bag instead. the quality's wayyyy better than what i have now. my bag's shoe compartment zip is faulty now. DANG.

it still haunts me.

2008-12-31T07:13:00.000-08:00

i'm moodless to come up with a proper post but i still feel like blogging.

it suddenly struck me that i forgot my wireless@sg password at the airport just now and i deleted the sms from qmax (the service provider) when i cleared my inbox a few weeks back. TOTALLY MARVELLOUS. -.-

my stomach doesn't feel right. blame it on that super greasy fish and chips lunch i had with bowling peeps. zzz.

i love my laptop's glossy surface on the outside but cleaning it is such a pain. zzz. leaving the fingerprints there is even more of an eyesore.

may 2009 come nicely wrapped up in a package. hopefully it's a lot less screwed than 2008.

saying sorry seems to be the hardest thing now.

2008-12-30T03:21:00.000-08:00

bro and i did the gayest thang ever...

we have similar phone socks. LOL.
----
i got posted to 08s201 and i'm not looking forward to meeting my new class next year at all. i don't have anything against them, it's just that i don't know anyone else there except for junjia. hais.
----
原本以为伤痛已经淡了。
原本以为自己远离了那些回忆。
原来我只是在骗自己。

明知自己早就应该把整件事放下，但却做不到。
心里依然还感到空虚，感到遗憾。
我根本就不该有这种感觉，我也不知道为什么会这样。

已经走到了这个地步，根本就没有回头路。
不该说的我却把它说出来，该做的我却办不到。
我后悔了，你是否懂吗?

算了吧。我说什么也没用了。

2008-12-28T04:09:00.000-08:00

i suddenly felt inspired to blog again so here goes...

boxing day class outing/free swensens lunch was a success! attendance was 12/21, double digit leh! i was grossly late because i forgot my house keys and had to change my skinnies to a skirt because i kept stepping on the ends while walking (did i grow shorter or something?)... zzz. sandy called me while i was on the bus and told me that the food had arrived, but it turned out that everyone was still looking at the menus when i reached! >.<

i tried chicken baked rice for the first time, and to be brutally honest, it tasted mediocre. the conversation over lunch was dang funny though. sherman was grossing our guts out by talking about eating whale sperm (!!!) with lemon which tasted like ice cream (?), and mark actually misheard and thought he had eaten REAL sperm. o.0 and he was saying that having water sprayed in the ears is an orgasmic experience... *piaks forehead*

we watched australia at ehub and the journey there was kind of erm, screwed. we couldn't decide whether to take bus or mrt from the airport so half of us headed to the mrt while the rest took a bus. -.- turned out that the mrt people were late so the bus people bought tickets for us and left them with the staff outside the cinema. i only realised after the movie that they had bought 3 pairs of couple seat tickets for the 6 of us. -.- no wonder i couldn't find the armrest on my right during the movie! zzz.

we played pool after the movie and i totally disgraced myself as usual. zzz. even david played better even though it was his virgin pool game. =x

we took a class photo at the airport, with the xmas tree and mickey mouse who looked grossly out of place. lol. anyway, this pic was stolen from sandy.

----
i'm lazy to blog about 4b chalet so i shall just post the pics.

----
just for the fun of it, i decided to try my luck and see if i could find twilight at tampines regional library. the computer's search engine revealed that every single copy of twilight in all the public libraries in singapore are either on loan or reserved. 0.o this is madness. i shall wait for the craze to die down before i check again. zzz.
----
random: i've been listening to a lot of slow jam/emo rock songs lately.

Memories suppose to fade
What's wrong with my heart
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it would be this hard
Should be strong, moving on
But I see you

2008-12-19T01:15:00.000-08:00

today's marathon of 6 bowling games left me totally shagged. >.< the scores were cool though. HAHA.

charles' scores in the first 4 frames can make an arithmetic progression. =x

the last game was so gay. i was doing really badly but still managed to trash glenn! check out the double strike at the last frame!

on a side note: personally, i don't think there's anything wrong with being a spinner (although there's a lot more to improve on in my case), but i guess it isn't allowed. worse thing is, i can't seem to change style (which includes wrist control). i can't stiffen my wrist for nuts and i don't want to because i'll sound like some beginner on piano. damn.

anyway, i met yanhao and germaine there. yanhao couldn't see me even though i was standing in his path. LOL.
----
again, i malu-ed myself at dunman when i walked around the whole school just to find my juniors yesterday even though paul already said that they were on the 4th floor. i had no idea how to get to the 4th floor ok. what a joke, i got lost in my alma mater. zzz. the new building is quite nice though, especially that open space on the second floor.

i stayed for the whole band prac and heard both SYF pieces. this year's set piece, overture no. 1 for wind band, sounds a lot more normal than last year's sunrise and safari lor! all that exotic animal-esque sounds in sunrise/safari just didn't sound right. sheesh.

the bottomline is, overture no. 1 sounds way Better than sunrise and safari with a capital B.

anyway, i'm very addicted to "celebration" from jericho. but i can't find the recording anywhere!

2008-12-17T03:33:00.000-08:00

mum brought me to visit her friend's condo at orchard road which left me literally gaping in amazement. the 16th floor apartment has a private lift and plasma tvs in every room! 0.o the apartment is probably twice the size of my house lah. (i live in a 5 room executive so you can imagine how spacious the apartment is)

i know i sound like some mountain tortoise, LOL. it's just that i've never set foot into an apartment with a private lift before!

twilight is so overrated. i'm not saying it's a bad movie/book, but all that hype is... unnecessary? i really don't understand why girls are swooning over a century-old vampire. -.- but i appreciate that edward has virtues of a monk though. means he would never take advantage of a girl. LOL. anyway i'm in no position to judge the storyline because i haven't read the book or seen the movie yet. the review looks pretty good though.

bella's lullaby is a nice song on piano, but i prefer the orchestral version though. =)

visiting juniors tomorrow! hopefully i won't get lost in dunman. i totally malu-ed myself last time when i asked for directions to the toilet. zzz.

i'm not blind.
so what if i can't take it anymore?
nothing that i do, nothing that i say now can change anything.

2008-12-16T04:19:00.000-08:00

i decided not to do a GP essay on euthanasia here. LOL. hopefully the content of this post is more juicy than assisted suicide. haha.
----
last week was marred by some horrific buffet experience.

apparently this restaurant was featured in some tv programme and mum wanted to try the buffet served there. i tagged along and gosh, i so regretted going. the restaurant closed its doors just before the buffet started to prepare the food and when we reached there, there was already a long queue snaking at the entrance. talk about kiasu singaporeans huh. -.-

but what that left me aghast was the ugliness of the patrons. when the doors opened, everyone rushed in and instead of letting the staff show them to their tables, they started grabbing the food at the main table. if that wasn't bad enough, most of the patrons were piling mountains of food on their plates. zzz.

so much for singapore being a first world nation. with such crass acts, it's enough to put anyone off.

the food wasn't particularly tasty anyway. or maybe it's just me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED CHILLI PADI OK. i'm a total loser when it comes to eating spicy stuff. while most people dunk their entire morsel of roti prata into the curry, i only dip half of mine in. get my point?

don't scoff at the size of chilli padi! a tiny slice hidden somewhere in my noodles caused me enough agony to down 2 whole glasses of iced water, plus i-don't-know-how-much tap water. seriously. other people probably thought i was crazy when i rushed to the toilet. my whole mouth and throat burned so badly that i was gagging at the sink. plus my eyes were watering to the extent where some people actually thought that i was crying and asked me if i was ok. -.-

i didn't exaggerate the above, even though it sounds really melodramatic. i'm swearing off anything remotely spicy for now!

----

iljimae (一枝梅) OST is nice! yeah, i only like the music and i'm not the least bit interested in the drama, ironically.

and i have another recommendation...

pic credits: http://www.yumeki.org/news/media/swing_girls01.jpg

swing girls is a must watch, especially if you're a band member! i know i'm damn slow lah, that movie was released years ago. LOL.

http://www.dragonsdenuk.com/reviews/swing_girls.htm

click on that website for the low-down of the plot. the plot's kind of far fetched but i still love it.

mum thought i was crazy when i suddenly exclaimed "we performed that before!" when the 5-piece jazz band played swing the mood. haha.

the music was amazing. i really don't have words to describe lah. yes i'm awed because i've never managed to pull off a jazz piece or get the swing feel right. zzz. the pieces they played were catchy too.

anyway, the guy who plays nakamura in the movie has a cute grin. HAHA. ok i didn't type that, you didn't see that.

verdict: swing girls = awesome.

----

maybe i'll post piano recitals here next time. hehe.

2008-12-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

i'm kind of lazy to update these days. zzz. but the post ahead is gonna be super longgggg...

malacca trip was quite screwed. (there was a last minute change of location, it was KL initially) we had intended to shop there but in the end it was mostly window shopping instead. haha. i've no photos to post here because act-smart me decided to leave my phone at home, thinking that there wouldn't be anything worth capturing on camera. BUT I WAS SO DAMN WRONG.

the hotel location wasn't exactly ideal. the main entrance faces a super busy road with no traffic lights/overhead bridges/anything. the only way to get across is to make a dash for it. DAMN SCARY OK. i nearly got mowed down by a speeding car that appeared from nowhere on that road. and the streets are mostly one-way with no pavements outside the shophouses. (think chinatown shophouses in singapore, minus the pavements outside) to get around, you would have to walk on the roads, which was pretty scary because of heavy traffic. the vehicles would just drive around the pedestrians. from this, i've learnt to appreciate singaporean traffic now. zzz.

plus, hotel service was pretty bad. when we first checked in, the receptionist handed us the key and said that we had to come back later because housekeeping was still tidying the room. -.- ok, so we went out for lunch at the shopping mall opposite and came back to put down our luggage 2 hours later. basket, there was no electricity! you know hotel rooms have a slot where you insert the room key for electrcity? the slot was falling apart and it didn't work no matter how many times we removed and inserted the key again!

if it wasn't bad enough, it took 3 calls to the front desk and 20 minutes more before someone came to look into the problem. zzz.

the state of the room wasn't very desirable too. the tv remote was cranky and the shower taps makes funny noises when there's water running from them. here's the really gross part: the toilet bowl has dead sandflies floating in the water if you don't flush it for some time. the baffling thing is that there're absolutely no sandflies (thankfully) in the room, so i've no idea how they actually ended up in that watery grave. zzz.

but looking on the bright side, the hotel room had an awesome sea view from the balcony. that's why i totally regretted not bringing my phone!

enough of hotel scares/perks, let's move on. shopping there was pretty uneventful. the range of apparel brands there are wayyyy bigger than in singapore, but unfortunately there weren't many choices for me because i couldn't even fit into most of the XS-sized clothes. zzz. or those brands which actually stocked clothes with my size were way too expensive. i finally picked up a pair of size zero (LOL not kidding, i really wear size zero) shorts from F.O.S (not available in singapore) though. =x

and with a stroke of luck, i found a pair of authentic ipanema flip flops selling at RM 15 (S$6.30). it's really a steal considering that they're priced at $19.90 in singapore.

the second day was spent wandering the streets, visiting shophouses and markets. like i said previously, it was a harrowing experience. because most of the shophouses don't have pavements outside, we had to walk along the road. and the motorists are somehow able to dodge the pedestrians on the narrow one way streets. *shudders*

we stopped by this shop which literally had confections stacked to the ceiling. and somehow all the boxes/packets/bottles/jars are all arranged in pyramids taller than myself. ok, maybe i'm just short. =x the pyramids arranged so precariously, i had this perpetual fear that all the products would come crashing to to the ground so much if anyone accidentally bumped into them. anyway, the shop stocks a brand of veggie flavoured crackers named kenji. LOL. too bad i didn't get a photo of it.

i like old school charm of malacca's streets leh. apparently trishaws are still a popular form of transport there. the trishaws are decorated with flowers, garlands and whatnots to the extent that they are the first things you can spot on the roads. again, i've no photos to show. =( but even if i brought my phone, i doubt i would have a chance to capture it though. i don't want to risk getting run over by stopping on the road to snap a photo!

other than the hotel woo-hoo, there were other hiccups too. i dropped my right ear stud lah. initially i had thought i dropped it while shopping and got quite pissed because the ear studs had cost a bomb. but i found it in the hotel bath tub! damn lucky lah, it would've been washed down the gutter if i didn't check!

another unfortunate event happened out of sheer stupidity. i tripped over a hump on the road. -.- i had seen it ok, but clever me still managed to trip over it! no external injuries though, but i think i pulled a muscle while trying to regain my balance. my left leg hurts when i walk now. zzz.

verdict: pretty screwed, but it feels good to get away from home once in a while.
----
I WANNA WATCH SWING GIRLS TONIGHT!

it's been a long time since i've watched band-related movies, not that there're a lot anyway.

2008-12-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

you lied.
it's so damn obvious.
i would've been a lot less put off/pissed/sad if you just told me the truth.

(another matter)
i thought it wouldn't affect me at all.
seems like i was wrong.
what it used to be is what that makes everything so saddening now.
----
random updates:

rahh. i need to stop letting emotions get the better of me.

damn amazing. i slept barely 4 hours last night. don't know why, but i spent like close to 3 hours staring at the bedroom ceiling, walking around, stoning... i just couldn't sleep.

nah, i'm not mental or whatever. i needed some time alone. but it's only noon now and i feel like hopping back into bed. zzz.

darn. i need to stop procrastinating on that alumni band matter and drag someone/some people to organise and propose it to the teachers with me. apparently it has been on alumni's agenda to meet up regularly for practices but it hasn't materialised since bro's era. zzz. ok, i need some motivation to contact lao jeff/li ting to discuss it with them. =x

i feel like a lightbulb when da sao comes over and there isn't anyone else at home. i need to borrow wei jin's shades! =x (inside joke)

anyway, ne-yo's new album, year of the gentleman rocks. i think it's one of the best i've heard after jay chou's 魔杰座.

the weather's so gloomy. =(

2008-12-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

i was blog hopping (i was too bored) and read something which hit me really hard. don't know why, but it made me think back on a lot of things.

could things have been different?

it's my fault.
it's your fault.
we're all to blame.

OK, STOP. it's pointless to think about it now anyway.

still toying with the idea of alumni band concert although it's not really plausible. but it's worth the risk i guess. i should visit dunman one day and ask the teachers... see how lah. haha.

2008-12-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

basket. wi-fi doesn't like me because i get disconnected every 5 minutes and it took me 5 attempts before i could successfully get a wireless@sg account. =( AND BLOGGER SCREWED UP THE PARAGRAPHING FOR THIS POST. zzz.

[edit] i've fixed the paragraphing![/edit]

because i'm sooooo bored helping out at mum's workplace (luckily i brought my lappy and physics MCQ), i shall do some lame quiz which i've been seeing practically everywhere. zzz. looking on the bright side, i can enjoy the smell of cookies. haha.

3 names you go by:

1. xiaoqian
2. qian
3. qian bian (that was reallyyy long ago)

3 screen names you've had:

1. qian
2. -
3. -

yes, i'm so boring that i've only had one screen name. -.-

3 parts of your heritage: (?)

1. singapore
2. malaysia
3. china

3 things that scare you:

1. unhappiness
2. death
3. heights (ya damn stupid i know)

lemme add a 4th: injections. =x

3 of your everyday essentials:

1. air
2. food
3. water

3 things you're wearing now:

1. shirt
2. shorts
3. belt

3 of your favourite songs:

1. 不潮不用花钱 (jj lin)
2. animation medley (tokyo kosei wind orchestra)
3. mad (ne-yo)

i shall be extra and add a 4th: gimme more (britney spears)

2 truths and a lie, in no particular order:

1. i love music.
2. i'm 1.6m tall. (LOL)
3. i'm a mugger.

3 of your favourite hobbies:

1. reading
2. piano-ing
3. swimming

3 things you really want to do badly now:

1. go on a really long sabbatical =(
2. recover all the songs in the com
3. play oboe again!

3 careers you've considered/are considering:

1. musician (quite impossible though)
2. chemist
3. chem engineer (bro thought i was crazy because it's typically a guy's job)

3 places you want to go on vacation to:

1. korea
2. japan (danny will be damn happy if he sees this, LOL)
3. the maldives

3 things you want to do before you die:

1. enjoy myself
2. be happy
3. learn cello

3 things that make you stereotypically a boy:

1. i'm loud.
2. i play need for speed.
3. i'm straighforward. (sometimes too much for my own good)

3 things that make you stereotypically a girl:

1. i like doing my part for the economy (shopping lah!).
2. i have long hair.
3. i like pretty stuff.

3 people you would like to see take this quiz too:

1. someone
2. anyone
3. everyone

aiya, if you're as bored as me, go ahead. =) i can't do the second part because my laptop's running low on battery. =x

at this point in time, i shouldn't be feeling this way.
i don't want to care anymore.

2008-11-30T00:12:00.000-08:00

random:

animation medley sounds horrible on laptop speakers. all that bass distortion kills the symphonic tone. ewww.

jj lin's 不潮不用花钱 sounds so... ne yo-esque? the rhythm sounds like a cross between closer and because of you. zzz.

i was dreaming of taking part in a concert featuring just alumni band. i really wish that would materialise though.

me: that song sounds so cheena. (i was referring to FIR's yue ya wan)
bro: of course lah, it's a chinese song!
me: >.<
----
it's been a long time since i've bitched about someone/something online. so this is the perfect occasion to do so right. haha.

ok, i was really bored and i saw this blog url that was making its way through many tagboards. it's on some hate tag.

http://fauzirassull.blogspot.com/2008/09/mediawhore.html

singapore's self proclaimed male bitch and media whore, apparently.

well dude, you certainly live up to your self-deprecating titles. (read the blog post and you'll get it.) instead of ogling those chiobus strutting down orchard road in their sunday best, maybe looking at that plastic skeleton in your alma mater's biology lab is a better option for you. it's so thin, even the skin on it is non-existent. =)

i don't get why such people would judge a girl's beauty by looking at her dress size. that's so superficial. grow up lah, dude.

my take: skinny is the new black huh. yeah right. skinny ISN'T PERFECTION. neither is it beautiful.

if you still agree with him, just look at it this way:

if you're a guy, imagine dating that skeleton in your school's biology lab, like i said just now. if you think that's too far fetched, imagine that skeleton with skin on it. how would you like hugging her?

if you're a girl, imagine waking up one day and seeing a skeleton in the mirror instead of yourself. all the pretty clothes which looked so great on the mannequins in the stores just hangs shapelessly on your body. very attractive meh?

gah, i don't know why i keep referring to skeletons in biology labs. zzz.

sadly, anorexia and bulimia are still widespread problems. it's ironic you know, when people at the other end of the globe are struggling to put food on the table (if they even have a table), there are girls putting fingers down their throats to make their dinner go up in reverse order.

but let me make myself clear: i have nothing against skinny girls and i'm not insulting them, even though the above sounds grossly incorrect in political terms. skinny and attractive aren't interchangeable terms leh. everyone's beautiful in their own way. (yes, cliche!)

sometimes it's baffling why such things even exist in supposedly cosmopolitan/open minded/*insert word here* singapore. what a shame.

2008-11-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

i made a ground breaking discovery on a trip to the optician's to get a new pair of specs:

I'M LITERALLY COCK-EYED.

i have astigmatism in my left eye and myopia in my right eye. what a joke.

even better, the optician told me that my current pair of specs was not prescribed correctly. that kuku optician used astig lenses for my right eye instead of my left eye. i've been using that pair of specs for 3 years leh! 3 freaking years!

if that wasn't shocking enough, here's the climax: i had totally no idea that i have astigmatism in my left eye. DANG. the previous optician only said that i had myopia. this guy said that i probably didn't notice because i have myopia in the other eye.

myopia and astig cancels out meh? maybe it does. this might explain why i can walk around without specs without banging into anything even though the myopia degree in my right eye is 275. -.- not for long periods though, eyesight gets blurry after some time.

seriously, i'm more amused than shocked by this.

by the way my previous diagnosis was super kua zhang too:

right eye: 275
left eye: 50 (near perfect)

eh, those are myopic degrees. if i got contacts then, i would only need one for my right eye. zzz.

mum baulked at the idea of getting contacts when the guy told her that it would cost more to get astig contacts. hopefully there'll be some good bargains to find in KL next week. and hopefully i won't go blind wearing them. HAHA.

ok, so we settled for specs only. i chose a dark silver square frame. mum says i look like a nerd in them. LOL. i think it makes me look more intellectual. =x

anyway, i've gone through 3 pairs of specs and the myopia degree hasn't changed at all. it's been 5 years leh!

2008-11-25T03:28:00.001-08:00

so it's been some time.
it hasn't been easy.
but i guess sometimes it's better to leave things as they are before they get ugly.

yes, it still hurts.
but i've had enough of moping around.

i will take trainings seriously.
i want to be in next year's A div.

"all the world's a stage."
-Shakespeare

you just have to keep acting.

2008-11-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

i didn't know seeing that could hurt so much.

you had no idea how much it hurt to hear all those baseless assumptions. but it's not like you cared anyway.

shattered.

2008-11-21T22:59:00.000-08:00

the desktop had died and the repair guy told me on the phone that he might have to reformat/change the hard drive, which meant losing all the data in the computer. panicking, bro and i were trying to get help from people but to no avail. zzz. so we just had to watch him wipe out everything in the com.

after the repair guy left...

bro: "the desktop looks so fucking clean now."

sure. I KNOW THAT. zzz. i'm never going to do school work on the desktop again. laptop better. =x

i lost everything in the desktop. so much for frantically smsing people to ask how to back up data. zzz. goodbye photos, pw files, songs, sec 4 bio and english essays (not kidding) and all the stuff which i haven't cleared since the end of sec 3. =x

the worst thing: the digital copy of 2005's SYF photo (the un-photoshopped one) is gone. i don't think there's any way of finding another copy online without the watermark thing right smack across the image. rahh.
----

i like my laptop's background now. haha. pic credits: deviantart.
----
listening to daughtry's what about now is heartbreaking.

2008-11-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

writing in prose now (with the exception of GP essays) seems so strange. apparently it's quite evident from how my posts are organised now. zzz.

blogger screws up the times and dates of my posts. grr.
----

it just felt so... strange.
the people in the crowds were blurring, and there was nothing but giddiness.
i just felt completely disoriented.
and memories kept replaying in the mind...

i really don't know what's going on now.
maybe i'm desensitised to emotions.
or i'm just moodless.
maybe what's left is just...
emptiness.

sometimes ignorance is really bliss.

2008-11-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

it's baffling why some things are just so hard to forget.

2008-11-13T02:06:00.001-08:00

i had intended to post something a lot more fiery than this, but deleted it on second thoughts.

that was fking insensitive. just because i seldom flare up, it doesn't mean that i'm a pushover. there's a limit to everyone's tolerance.

on something different, i willingly admit that it was my fault. i'm sorry, you know who you are.

one more thing: may that idiot i met on the MRT die. i can't even report it because i couldn't see his face. i honestly hope there won't be any more victims. in any case, i'm still quite horrified by that matter.

5 gastric tablets in one day. wth.

2008-11-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

YES, I'M STILL PEEVED AT MY PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT/RETENTION STATUS.

i feel as though i've been tricked into dropping econs.

fine i shall stop here because the only words which i can use to describe my feelings are expletives.
----
i got so bored yesterday that i started playing splinter cell on bro's PSP. it's damn scary because some enemy soldier you've been guarding against can sneak up to your hideout from behind and start shooting.

and poof, before you can even draw your weapon, you're dead and "mission failed" appears on the screen. i've no idea how to defuse the minefield too so i end up being blown into pieces when i pass that area. -.-

i thereby conclude that RPGs are scary, or maybe it's just that i suck at them. =x maybe i should play something less terrifying like need for speed. lol.
----
i'm a closet emo-er now. so?

2008-11-03T00:39:00.000-08:00

hurhur. i just realised that the promotion/retention system is effectively screwed.

i dropped h2 econs because i felt that i couldn't cope with the long hours of 4h2 timetable plus remedial for advanced students.

in case you're still wondering. here's my results:

physics: D

chem: E

math: E

econs: U

GP: C

chinese: B

i thought my results were going to get me retained, so i was quite thankful i got advanced.

but it seems that there're other people who also got one U but got promoted. (i'm not mentioning any names)

I FREAKING GOT ADVANCED JUST BECAUSE THAT SUBJECT I FAILED IS A CONTRASTING SUBJECT.

what crap is this.

if i had been promoted, i wouldn't have to attend remedial lessons. and with that, i could've kept my 4h2 combination.

besides, even if i had advanced, my results didn't even qualify for meet the parents. but my mum was called to school anyway.

yes. you might be thinking, you made it to j2 anyway, so why complain?

reason: advanced students are described in such a pathetic way, everyone would rather get promoted even if both means spending only 2 years in jc. and remedial lessons was the reason that pushed me to drop econs.

i should go complain to the school right. but what's the point?

-meet the parents is already over.

-i don't want to cause trouble to friends who got promoted but are in the same situation as me.

-i've already handed in the form for changing subject combination.

it's just unfair.

2008-11-02T21:37:00.000-08:00

currently blogging from google chrome! I LIKE! =)

ok i'm here only because i wanted to see if blogger looks any different here as compared to IE. ~~so noob right. =x~~

i should get started on i&r. zzz.

bye!

2008-11-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

it's difficult to express this, but it feels awful.
all along, i was lying to everyone around me, and i'm still doing it.
everything's just a facade now.

好累。

2008-10-29T04:23:00.000-07:00

deleted the previous post because it sounded so crappy. zzz.

2 days to OP! things to note:

-smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (apparently i look too sian)
-vary intonation (i think it sounds damn corny)
-look enthusiastic! (rehearse until sian le lor, how to?)

today's dry run pretty sucked. i'm kind of afraid that i'll screw up on friday. i should practice smiling in front of the mirror. zzz.

pw= love <3 (yeah right)
----
subway-ed again for lunch and it suddenly hit me that next year won't be the same again.

bye 08s104. i'll miss you guys.

2008-10-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

i've been spamming my blog, sheesh.

feeling rather pensive today. (nooo, not emo!) anyway it's been ages since i've actually bothered to type a proper post, so i shall do just that today.

i've been blog hopping, reading about others' lives. (yah, i readily admit that i'm voyeuristic) read rachel's blog, and it set me thinking.

similarly, for the past year, i've no idea what i've been doing. other than mugging, mugging and more mugging. but my promos results aren't exactly admirable.

i haven't had any achievements in jc, at all.

i'm not craving for any leadership position. and given my struggle with academics now, it's practically impossible to squeeze in other commitments.

i miss being the SC. i miss doing something for my CCA, doing something useful for the school. yes, i used to complain about being bogged down by responsibilities and all that, but even that beats my situation now hands down.

i'm not saying that i had been an outstanding leader. it wasn't without hiccups, but the experience was memorable. it made me grow up, and it changed my perspectives.

that conversation on DISC profiling got me thinking too. i'm a D person. the dominant person, the leader. ironically, i haven't managed to secure any leadership positions in jc. and going by what i heard, it seems like i didn't make it through the OGL interview. i've yet to confirm it because i haven't checked the list.

so what if i'm in the class committee? truthfully speaking, i don't like being the reach rep. half the time i can't be bothered to turn up for meetings or cip activities because i barely know the people there. and more importantly, i don't have any real interest in community service. yes, i should have given up that position to someone else during the class committee re-elections. but i clung on for the sake of having something nice in my SGC.

i doubt i would have a similar experience in jc again. the culture is just, different. and probably, i just won't get the chance.

somehow, i've just lost the leadership spirit(?). i want to do something productive, i want to contribute, but it seems like i can't bring that message across.

you can say that i can contribute through my class committee position, but seriously speaking, i feel motivated only if it's of my interest. i may sound like a diva, but let's face it, would you be willing to go the extra mile for something which you're not interested in?

once again, i miss band, i miss dunman, and i miss being my old self.

thinking back now, secondary school days were probably the most fulfilling days. people will probably go "eh, mjc has been your school for almost a year already, enough with being nostalgic!" but dunman brought out the best in me, and that's that.

looking back, 2004 to 2007 were probably the best years in my life, especially 2007.

jc got holistic development meh. i only see cognitive. zzz.

2008-10-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

知错了又怎么样。
后悔了又怎么样。
伤心又怎么样。

能改变事实吗？

不能。

20 laps again before pw meeting tomorrow, if the weather's fine.
or 15 if i'm feeling lazy.
i shall spam sun protection because my back, face and arms are horribly burnt. =x

damn my stomach hurts.

2008-10-25T02:05:00.000-07:00

20 laps in the swimming pool.

trying to find solace in distractions, trying to escape from reality.
but when reality hits again, the troubles are still there.

2008-10-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

the timing for OP exam is as bad as it can be. the actual presentation is right smack in between chinese A levels and theory exam. HOW NICE. if you don't get what i mean, here's my schedule for next week:

thursday: chinese A levels
friday: OP exam
saturday: theory exam

and given my substandard performance during dry run yesterday, i'm totally freaking out at having to present in front of another class tomorrow. and wtp (what the pok), i'm the first speaker!

it's pretty strange, actually. one year back, i had no problems with screaming at a group of 60+ people and now i'm getting cold feet at just having to rattle off from some memorised script.

i should just burn and drink my script, seriously.

也许我只是在等待一个不可能会发生的事。

2008-10-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

the form's still empty. i've yet to decide whether to fill it up.
meet the parents' is tomorrow and i'm dreading it.
that conversation made me realise so many things i was guilty of. and the answer i had been searching for was staring right in my face.

things aren't that simple after all.

2008-10-18T01:42:00.001-07:00

finally, WR has been submitted. yesterday was a complete nightmare. events are in chronological order, and i'm too peeved to elaborate on each of them:

1. i read through the final version of the WR in the morning. only one table was converted to microsoft word 2007 format. some mistakes which were pointed out in the previous draft were still there. there wasn't enough time to change it so i said nothing about it.

2. met in school at 2pm to sign the cover page and hand it in. for some reason, some pages did not have page numbers but yh had already filled them in.

3. what the heck, we discovered that one page was missing. applause, please. -.-

4. cabbed to yh's house to print it. for some dumb reason the printer refused to work and we had to keep restarting the com. yeah, the printer finally got to work, but it started printing ballade pour adeline piano scores. -.- after spitting out 4 copies of it, the printer finally got the correct thing, with the help of yh's mum. zzz.

5. yh's com couldn't convert the soft copy of the WR into pdf format.

6. we rushed back to school to re-bind the hard copy and convert the soft copy to pdf format. the photocopying shop in school charged 50 cents re-bind the WR. plus there was a long queue and the person was bitching about me not doing the binding in school.

7. wee kang's laptop couldn't convert the soft copy to pdf format. and we found out that other groups handed in the soft copy in doc format so we decided to just heck care. it was 2 minutes before 5pm (submission deadline) and the cd drive jammed. we couldn't get the cd out of the laptop. it didn't help that we saw people running to the library to submit their work.

8. at 5.01pm, the cd drive decided to open. -.-

9. rushed to the library 5.05pm to hand in the WR. we were 5 minutes late, but never mind.

10. i missed theory lesson, and skipped lunch plus breakfast as a result.

what a harrowing experience. tough life huh.

[edit]
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

2008-10-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

this is a must-watch/listen! jay chou's 说好的幸福呢 on piano.

the tone of grand pianos are so nice, i think i can just drool by listening to this. =x

2008-10-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

dunman's 45th anniversary dinner and concert costs a whopping $80 per person. gawd. and it coincides with J1 bash that's 10 times cheaper ($8). LOL.

ok, what happened just now was wholly embarrassing. zzz. i shall not elaborate on that.

after sleeping later than 2am for 4 consecutive days, i finally slept at 10pm last night. my first time this year sleeping at this time leh! =x

don't feel like dragging my butt out of the house for ogl interview later. zzz.

the lyrics of 说好的幸福呢 are so meaningful.

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

2008-10-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

frustrated. exhausted. confused. disappointed. angry. sad.

conclusion: troubled.

am absolutely moodless to elaborate.

2008-10-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

i'm so darn pissed with microsoft word.

firstly, it crashed 3 times while i was WR-ing. complacent me didn't save my work consistently, but luckily most of it was recovered.

secondly, one of the diagrams are corrupted and i've no idea how to repair it. at this ungodly hour (12.45am), there isn't anyone to ask for help.

thirdly, final draft is due tonight (or rather this morning) and with all these problems, how the f-ing hell am i supposed to be able to submit it on time?

fourthly(?), there's something wrong with the computer screen.

lastly, because of all this, i'm stuck halfway through compiling everyone's work.

f*** lah.

2008-10-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

5 reasons why life sucks:

1. signing up for theory exam this year was clearly a wrong decision. it's only 2 weeks left and i feel so unprepared and unmotivated to study for it.
2. i doubt i can make it for the OGL interview because i wrote a load of crap in that essay about myself.
3. there's no point in dropping to H1 econs. but am i committing suicide by continuing with 4H2 subjects?
4. PW is a pain. sleeping at 2am for 2 consecutive days just to chiong WR really kills.
5. plus some other matter which i don't want to mention here.

a reason why life is great:

Jericho_-_Bert Appermont - Bert Appermont - Jericho

jericho is nice!

i don't know if the player can show up here, but never mind.

2008-10-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

08s104 totally owned LT4 during physics lecture. we were the most improved class, the class with 100% passes and the top student was also from our class. haha. *smirks*

it was an entirely different story for chem though. we're the 21st (4th from the back) in the level. ok, we will confirm chop plus guarantee be kicked out of LT5 next year! =x

more results:

econs: 34.4/100 U
chem: 47/100 E
chinese: 65.4/100 B

screw econs, seriously. it didn't help that i was sitting in between sandy and david in the LT, the top scorers for econs. -.- maybe joining choir will help to improve econs, haha.

I DON'T WANNA RETAIN BECAUSE OF ECONS. =(

so confused.

2008-10-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

请不要这样对我。please.

2008-10-06T03:42:00.000-07:00

pw is a nightmare, seriously. i've quite a lot to rant about it here but forget it, i don't want to create trouble.

basket i shouldn't have agreed to do introduction and conclusion for OP. being the first speaker is super daunting!

ok, 2 promo papers have been returned:

GP: 58/100 C
physics: 51/100 D

i don't know if i should be happy or not. after all, the worse papers are not back yet. zzz. i should brace myself for the rest of this week.

i like this quote!

"if you wait too long for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by."

i never gave up hope. but now, what i had envisioned may just remain as a dream.

2008-10-04T03:53:00.000-07:00

i'm so boredddd. anyway i deleted the previous post by accident. never mind lah, it wasn't anything significant.

it's a bit late to blog about open house one day later, but who cares, haha. ok, for the first time in eons, this will be a blow-by-blow account of everything that happened yesterday instead of just mentioning random details. =)

i was almost late for school because i woke up late and dawdled around, toying with the idea of pon-ing. my stomach was churning from gastric anyway (probably from skipping lunch and recess the day before), so i was 40% unwilling to drag my butt to school.

but i still went to school anyway since i didn't want to pangseh yihan and make him do the publicity stuff. (see, i'm such a nice friend! =x) met daryl at the bus stop and i actually saw him from the overhead bridge because of his bright yellow atlas tee. wah lau, house tees literally make a statement. -.- apparently i wasn't the only one running late.

met sherman on the way too, and he was surprised because he thought daryl was my new bf. -.- cannot meet by coincidence is it? zzz.

setting up the booth was -.-, seriously. background info: our class paired with 08s106 to sell personalised test tubes made from coloured hair gel, alphabet macaroni and er, lab test tubes. (yes, you didn't see wrongly)

ok, we spent 2 periods sitting at the benches behind LT3 sorting out the alphabets. -.- everyone who walked past us were giving weird looks at the macaroni pieces strewn across the table. zzz. it was a damn boring and menial job please. we were barely 1/6 through the packet when we decided to give up. anyway what we had sorted through was more than enough for sales. i got suaned about my height and weight while helping to do that bit of sai kang. lol.

spent much of the day hanging out at the booth only. damn no life lah, i know. =x but it was fun making the test tubes and chatting with classmates. sales were surprisingly good too. we weren't expecting to collect up to $40 but we made more than $80.

mass dance was ok lah. the second round was a lot more high and crazy than the first one. i didn't watch any of the other houses dance except miranda. their dance is superb leh! their moves and choice of music was uber nice.

got cornered by mark and wei yang who wanted me to climb and jump off the structure built by odac. i've no photos to show how it looks like, but its a tower with a ladder on one side, and an open end on the other for people to jump onto a mattress below. the anti climax: i didn't jump. ya, like mark said, i've no balls to do it. zzz.

sarah and wei kwang came for open house with their friends! i walked around the school with them, showing them the stuff we had. that was the only time i left the booth to roam the place. i'm so zai lah! ok, enough of self appraisal before people start throwing stuff at me. =x

met kehua and jing jing too. they crashed open house for the fun of it, apparently. guai lan me went up to jing jing and said "hi welcome to mj, are you planning to transfer here next year?" =x kehua was saying that he was in atlas (5th in position then) during PAE, and now his house in vj is also the last among the rest. i started laughing at him and said it must be his presence. oops.

i haven't really guai lan-ed anyone for some time, so please forgive me. =x

band performed selections from grease! it was so reminiscent of last year's open house (or was it cca orientation?) in dunman when we played the same piece. it was also the piece that freaked me out in serenata 4 because of the solo. it was so nostalgic! i don't know why but i'm vicariously happy whenever i hear the sound of band and if that band is playing a familiar piece.

BUT I'M STILL PERFECTLY SANE, HAHA.

left early at 5pm because there was theory lesson at 6. i missed fusion dance and the combined house dance but it doesn't really matter. i wasn't into dancing in the first place. =) i took 2 buses and 1 mrt ride to get to piano teacher's house for lesson. -.- yeah, i was tired and didn't want to walk from tpjc after getting off the bus.

i'm quite spooked by what happened on the way there. i was waiting for bus 28 at tampines interchange when this man in his 60s approached me. he stood really close in front of me with a lecherous smile and gesturing at his wrist, as if he was asking for the time. i was on the phone at that time so i pretended that i didn't see him even though he was right in front of me. the worse thing was, he didn't leave even after i ignored him and continued standing there with that stupid simper on his face.

why ask only me for the time when there're at least a hundred other people around who are not on the phone?

i don't really understand what happened but it was quite freaky. he stood so close, i was afraid he would attack me or something since i ignored him. fortunately the bus came and i scooted off.

theory lesson was pretty ok. i still fear for melody composition. i love music, but i can't compose for nuts. rahh.

overall verdict: awesome, never mind the hiccups in between. i'm glad i didn't skip school.

anyway, we bugged mr chee for our promos results but he refused to divulge anything. i wish upon every star/moon/sun/deity that i'll be promoted. REALLY.

random: my sun burnt shoulders are peeling. yuck.

this has to be my longest post ever!

2008-10-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

there're just too many feelings which can't be articulated.
now that the distractions are gone, the troubles start blurring the vision again.
but pride refuses to let the tears fall.

the heart is filled with a myriad of emotions.
confusion ensues, mixed with pain.
the ebony and ivory keys are of little comfort.
frustration kicks in when the fingers stumble repeatedly over the smooth black and white keys.

the piano cover slams shut.
the music stops and silence replaces it.
----
PS: it may not make sense to you, but that doesn't matter. like the first line says, there're just too many things which can't be put in words.